Scialfa was born in affluent Deal, New Jersey. She was the middle child to Joseph Scialfa and Patricia (nee Morris) Scialfa. She has two half brothers, and two half siblings from her father`s second marriage. Unlike her future husband, her family was well provided for, her father and mother were successful local entrepreneurs, starting from a single television store and entering into real estate development. She was writing songs from an early age, and first worked professionally as a back-up singer in New Jersey bar bands after completing high school. She stated in a Lear`s magazine interview in 1994 that she had little talent in life for anything but music, and went to college as a way to further her ambitions as a singer and performer while also satisfying parental expectations. She has a music degree from New York University, which she earned after transferring from the University of Miami`s jazz conservatory.