(On his favourite sexual position) "Flat on my back with my wallet open."

To me, the musical is best when it`s a musical comedy. So if you have a very, very funny show, and very good, funny songs, that`s what the musical does best.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will make me go in a corner and cry by myself for hours.

I think the special thing about Python is that it`s a writers` commune. The writers are in charge. The writers decide what the material is.

I love being an older comic now. It`s like being an old soccer or an old baseball player. You`re in the Hall of Fame and it`s nice, but you`re no longer that person in the limelight on the spot doing that thing.

If the studios paid the artists, how would they ever be able to afford the executives?

We`ve discovered that the less we do, the more money we make.

I like the idea of being out there regularly with an audience and with a funny gang of people. That`s what I grew up with - doing television, doing shows every week.

(On gay marriages) "It`s about time they suffered too."

John (Cleese) once told me he`d do anything for money. So I offered him a pound to shut up, and he took it.

No day of my life passes without someone saying the words `Monty Python` to me. It`s not bad.

The Minister of Transport issued this appeal to motorists: Can anyone give him a lift to Leicester?

You look just like you!