There was an incident that happened about a year ago in your life that was very upsetting.
[Long pause] Well, I haven't discussed this with anyone in the press yet. It happened a year ago. Someone I was dating for a few months [Ronnie Marquette, a model/actor] killed himself in front of me. With a gun.
What did you do when it happened?
I guess I immediately went into shock. You just cannot fathom what... [long pause]... how they could do that. It was almost like, "I cannot believe what I just saw." If it had sunk in then, I don't think I could have handled it emotionally. It's just now that I'm beginning to handle it.
Do you remember the first thing you did?
I thought it was some really bad, sick joke. I just kept saying that over and over. I ran to the phone finally. I dialed zero, because when we are growing up, we're told that if something bad happens, call the operator. So I did. I didn't even think 911. I just dialed zero and started screaming, and they hung up. And then I called 911.
Wait a minute. The operator hung up on you?
Yes. I guess they thought it was a prank. When I called 911, I was in shock, just screaming, and dropped the phone. I don't remember what happened after that until somebody came to the house. I don't know how long it took, but it felt like days.
Have you gone through therapy to deal with it?
Yes. I went through therapy and grief and survival counseling. That was the most difficult thing. All the people in my group went through the pain of having someone in their life die violently. But none of them, I think, went through the experience of seeing it happen right before them, you know?