Prince Albert's untimely death in 1861 was a shock from which Queen Victoria never fully recovered. John Brown became a good friend and supported the mourning Queen. The Queen gave him gifts and created two medals for him, the Faithful Servant Medal and the Devoted Service Medal. She commissioned a portrait of him.
Victoria's children and ministers resented the high regard she had for Brown, and, inevitably, stories circulated that there was something improper about their relationship. The Queen's daughters joked that Brown was "Mama's lover", while Edward Stanley, 15th Earl of Derby, wrote in his diary that Brown and Victoria slept in adjoining rooms "contrary to etiquette and even decency".
The diaries of Lewis Harcourt contain a report that one of the Queen's chaplains, Rev. Norman Macleod, made a deathbed confession repenting of his action in presiding over Queen Victoria's marriage to John Brown. Debate continues over what credence to give this report. It should be emphasised that Harcourt did not receive the confession directly (he was nine at the time that Macleod died) but that it passed (if it did) from Macleod's sister to the wife of Henry Ponsonby, the Queen's private secretary, and thence to Harcourt's father Sir William Harcourt, the then Home Secretary. Sir William served as Home Secretary in the final three years of Brown's life. While it is true that some widowed monarchs have contracted private marriages with their servants, there is little evidence that Victoria married Brown.
Perhaps the most compelling evidence of the depth of Victoria and Brown's relationship comes from the pen of the Queen herself. A recently discovered letter written by Victoria shortly after Brown's death, to Viscount Cranbrook, reveals the true extent of the loss:
"Perhaps never in history was there so strong and true an attachment, so warm and loving a friendship between the sovereign and servant ... Strength of character as well as power of frame – the most fearless uprightness, kindness, sense of justice, honesty, independence and unselfishness combined with a tender, warm heart ... made him one of the most remarkable men. The Queen feels that life for the second time is become most trying and sad to bear deprived of all she so needs ... the blow has fallen too heavily not to be very heavily felt..."
The phrase "life for the second time" relates to the death of her husband Prince Albert. The historian who discovered the letter believed that it suggested that Victoria, in her mind, equated Brown's death with Albert's, and that she therefore viewed him as more than a servant. Whether Brown and Victoria were actual lovers, however, is not known.
Those who believe that the Queen saw Brown as little more than a servant point to the fact that after his death she became similarly attached to an Indian servant, Abdul Karim (the Munshi), one of two who had come to work for her in late June 1887. She called him the Munshi, and he came to be resented even more than John Brown had been: unlike Brown, whose loyalty was without question, there was evidence that Karim exploited his position for personal gain and prestige.
Tony Rennell's book Last Days of Glory: The Death of Queen Victoria reveals that Victoria had entrusted detailed instructions about her burial to her doctor, Sir James Reid (in lieu of Brown himself, who had died in 1883: the Queen's wish had been for him to attend to her). These included a list of the keepsakes and mementoes, photographs and trinkets she wished to be placed into the coffin with her: along with Albert's dressing gown and a plaster cast of his hand, the Queen was buried with a lock of Brown's hair, his photograph, and a ring worn by Brown's mother and given to her by Brown, along with several of his letters. The photograph, wrapped in white tissue paper, was placed in her left hand, with flowers discreetly arranged so as to hide it from view. The ring she wore on the third finger of her right hand.
The statues and private memorials that Victoria had created for Brown were destroyed and discarded at the order of her son, Edward VII, with whom Brown had often clashed and who bitterly resented Brown for his influence on his mother.
Queen Victoria commissioned a life-sized statue of Brown by Edgar Boehm shortly after Brown's death. The inscription on the base read: Friend more than servant. Loyal. Truthful. Brave. Selfless than Duty, even to the grave. When Victoria's son succeeded to the throne he had the statue moved to a less conspicuous site on the estate.