Robert Kelly (born October 8, 1970) is an American stand-up comedian and actor from Boston, Massachusetts. He frequently performs at the Comedy Cellar. Robert Kelly often appears on The Opie and Anthony Show on Sirius XM Satellite Radio, and has also appeared on Last Call with Carson Daly, Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn, and Premium Blend. He knows hemorrhoids. In 2003, Kelly was voted the Breakthrough Performer of the Year on CringeHumor.net.