Vampires Jump the Shark! (Thanks, Twilight)...

Vampires Jump the Shark! (Thanks, Twilight)

Category: General
Posted 3 months ago by luisa10q
Credit: http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b139281_vampires_jum
Remember when Hollywood vampires were indie cool? Think TV`s Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Roman Polanski`s The Fearless Vampire Killers.

But then Twilight arrived. And Robert Pattinson assaulted our senses with his everywhere-ness. And fanggirls assaulted our senses with their everywhere-ness at Comic-Con.

And finally, overkill of overkills: Starting Friday, people are going to fork over their hard-earned allowances for tickets to Bandslam—Bandslam!—just to see the new trailer for New Moon.

It`s over. Hollywood vampires have jumped the shark. Thanks to the Twilight Saga, they are too big to be indie. They are too hot to be cool. They are a blasted water-ski attraction. Just like Fonzie, the original shark jumper.

The signs are everywhere:

1. This headline says it all: "Twilight Barbie Dolls coming soon to a Walmart near you."

Giving all you vampire die-hards a moment to recover...

One...

Two...

Got your breath back? OK, let`s resume:

2. The Edward Barbie. And while, yes, it`s cruel to link to an actual picture of the doll, which "looks just like the dazzlingly beautiful vampire Edward Cullen," we are trying to make a point.

3. I`m Not Obsessed nailed this one back in March: The Twilight board game. Suffice it to say, if you`re a creature of the night associated with a tie-in product that has to carry a choking-hazard warning for small children—and this argument basically goes for the Barbie dolls, too—then you`re about as hip as Barney the dinosaur.

4. The Teen Choice Awards. Yeah, that`s pretty cutting edge. True, Miley Cyrus brought the Madonna `tude, but Twilight just picked up a bunch of surfboards. And, another thing, the TV ratings went down.

5. A weekly TV show devoted exclusively, as in only, to Twilight. Aren`t vampires supposed to avoid the direct sun at the risk of being (over)exposed? Oh, well not with Twilight: Weekly Spotlight around. (It airs Mondays on ReelzChannel.)

Put `em all together, and believe you us, if Bram Stoker`s Dracula weren`t undead, he`d be rolling over in his grave.

Even Wendi Mirabella, executive director and producer of this weekend`s Vampire-Con, a Los Angeles event billed as the first "vam-pop culture" convention, tells us there`s a "small segment" of old-school vampire fans who have been put off by Twilight. Or rather by the Twilight phenomenon.

To be sure, Mirabella`s not complaining about the movies—or conceding that the fanged ones` moment has passed: "[Twilight] draws attention to the genre that never really has lost popularlity. I don`t think it [the vampire] has jumped the shark in any way, shape or form."

Still, we have one word regarding the future in Hollywood-monster cool: werewolves.

Just try buying a Jacob Black Barbie doll. It ain`t gonna happen, `cause it don`t exist. And yes, we know, Taylor Lautner`s Jacob Black is a shape-shifter and not a werewolf, but many casual observers think otherwise, which only makes werewolves and Jacob Black all the more cool: They`re misunderstood!

Just like Edward Cullen used to be.

Related Links: Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner
Vampires Jump the Shark! (Thanks, Twilight)
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posted by maryboleyn
i love vampires and i watched all vampire movies.twilight is not the best but its one of good ones.
posted 3 months ago

 
 
posted by chelsi72
I agree with shyanne. FINALLY I have some one who thinks the way I do everyone keeps making rumors about kristin and rob that it has become outrages. And its always the sme things : he broke up with her, shes pregnat with his baby, shes jelous of him, hes jelous of her, they are dating other people, they are back together. I mean come on people do you really belive everything someone writes? they are call rumors. defintion they are unsure what they heard or seen so what ever story is the most outrages thats the one they will post. they also flip things around so they are untrue.
posted 3 months ago

 
 
posted by shyanne
I dont understand why everyone is making a huge deal out of twilight. Yeah i love it and it is totally awesome and i have watched it lik 30 times but they are getting to worked up about it. THey think just because ROb and Kristen are spending time with each other their dating but you cant believe what you read. SOmetimes people can take so much out of context. its so un believeable.
posted 3 months ago

 
 
posted by bridget
umm you just jave to go to mmm-mag.com to see the longer virson of the new moon preview
posted 3 months ago

 
 
posted by ibeautiful
I`d love to see the new trailer but im not bout to waste my money on no Bandslam movie the movie looks good but I`m pretty busy
posted 3 months ago

 
 
posted by caro`s
please i want to know...putting acting aside...do vampires exsist...why are there being promoted...
posted 3 months ago


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