Quotes
 Samantha: Donger`s here for five hours, and he`s got somebody. I live here my whole life, and I`m like a disease. The Geek: Would you guys please hurry up, I`m breaking like 30 major laws here.
[Long Duk Dong is dancing with Lumberjack, his head is on her ample chest]
Lumberjack: What`s your last name?
Long Duk Dong: Dong.
Lumberjack: What`s your first name?
Long Duk Dong: Long.
Lumberjack: What`s your middle name?
Long Duk Dong: Duk.
The Geek: Where the hell am I?
Caroline: I`ll, uh, tell you where you are if you tell me who you are.
The Geek: I`m Farmer Ted.
Caroline: You`re in the parking lot in front of my church.
The Geek: You own a church?
Mike Baker: [about Ginny] She`s got her period. Should make for an interesting honeymoon, huh?
Jim Baker: Where are you learning this stuff?
Mike Baker: School.
Jim Baker: Good, get my money`s worth.
Ginny: I really love Rudy. He is totally enamored of me. I mean, I`ve had other men love me before, but not for six months in a row.
Randy: Would you stop feeling sorry for yourself? It`s bad for your complexion.
Brenda Baker: Can you remember to turn off the stove in twenty minutes?
Samantha: I can remember lots of things.
Grandma Helen: Oh Sam, let me take a look at you. Fred, she`s gotten her boobies.
Grandpa Fred: I better get my magnifying glass. Ha Ha Ha.
Grandma Helen: Oh, and they are so PERKY.
[reaches to cup them]
Grandma Helen: [cut to:]
Samantha: I can`t believe my grandmother actually felt me up.
[Caroline is very drunk]
Caroline: Who`s he?
Jake: That`s me.
Caroline: Who are you?
Jake: I`m him.
Caroline: Oh, ok.
The Geek: This information cannot leave this room. Ok? It would devastate my reputation as a dude.
Samantha: No problem.
The Geek: I`ve never bagged a babe. I`m not a stud.
The Geek: Do you know how many times a week I go without lunch because some bitch borrows my lunch money? Y`know, any halfway decent girl can rob me blind, because I`m too torqued up to say no.
Jake: [Jake is now holding Samantha`s panties] These are really hers?
The Geek: Yeah.
Jake: How did you get `em?
The Geek: She gave `em to me.
Jake: Did you...?
The Geek: No! She cranked for you. I told her you asked about her, right? The girl freaked. She had a hissy. She thinks you`re the cats meow!
Jake: Really? She came up to me in the gym tonight. She looked at me like I was a leper.
The Geek: Girls will do that, Jake. You know? They know that guys are like in perpetual heat, right? They know they shit, and they enjoy pumping us up. It`s pure power politics. I`m telling you.
Jake: I thought she hated my guts.
The Geek: Games, Jake. Silly torturous games. You know how many times I`ve gone without lunch because some bitch borrows my lunch money? Any halfway decent girl can rob me - blind! Because I`m too torked up to say no. It`s heinous, I`m telling you.
Jake: You better not be dicking me around. It`d be a major downer to try and get together with this girl and find out that she really does think I`m a slime.
The Geek: Jake, would I dick you? Let me put it to you this way, what happens to me if I dick you?
Jake: I`ll kick your ass.
The Geek: Right! So why would I lie? But I feel compelled to mention to you, Jake, that if all you want of the girl is a piece of ass, I mean, I`ll either do it myself, or get someone bigger than me to kick your ass. I mean, not many girls in contemporary American society today would give their underwear to help a geek like me.
Jake: I can get a piece of ass anytime I want. Shit, I`ve got Caroline in the bedroom right now, passed out cold. I could violate her ten different ways if I wanted to.
The Geek: [almost chokes on a pretzel] What are you waiting for?
Jake: I`ll make a deal with you.
[holds up the panties]
Jake: You let me keep these, I`ll let you take Caroline home. But you`ve got to make sure she gets home. You can`t leave her in a parking lot somewhere. Okay?
The Geek: Jake, I`m only a freshman.
Jake: So, she`s so blitzed she won`t know the difference.
The Geek: Jake, I don`t have a car.
Jake: You can take mine.
The Geek: Jake, I don`t have license.
Jake: I trust you.
The Geek: Jake, I`d love to... I can`t.
[holds out a bowl]
The Geek: Want a pretzel?
Jake: You sure?
[takes the bowl and sets it down on the counter]
The Geek: Positive.
The Geek: [Farmer Ted is in Jake`s dad car. Jake just saw he and Caroline kissing] I`m dead.
[the phone rings and he answers it]
The Geek: Hello?
Cliff: Ted, you never called us back. What happened?
The Geek: Look, wheez, I told you not to call me here.
Cliff: Ted, we`re dying, what happened?
The Geek: You wanna know what happened? Buy the book!
[the bride arrives at the church, obviously out of it]
Brenda Baker: Her monthly bill came early. Well, she`s fine, she just took a muscle relaxer.
Ginny: Try *four*.
[last lines]
Jake: Happy birthday, Samantha. Make a wish.
Samantha: Well, it already came true.
Samantha: It`s really human of you to listen to all my bullshit.
The Geek: You know, I`m getting input here that I`m reading as relatively hostile.
Samantha: Go to hell.
The Geek: VERY hostile.
Samantha: I loathe the bus. There has to be a more dignified mode of transportation.
The Geek: How`s it going?
Samantha: How`s what going?
The Geek: You know - things, life, whatnot.
Samantha: Life is not whatnot, and it`s none of your business.
The Geek: By night`s end, I predict me and her will interface.
The Geek: So, what`s your story? I mean, you got a guy, or...?
Samantha: Yes, three big ones, and they lust wimp blood so quit bugging me or I`ll sic them all over your weenie ass.
Samantha: When you don`t have anything, you don`t have anything to lose. Right?
Randy: That`s a cheerful thought.
Samantha: This is Farmer Fred.
The Geek: Ted.
Samantha: Oh, I`m sorry, Farmer Ted.
The Geek: I`m not really a farmer. I`m a freshman.
Jim Baker: That`s why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they`d call them something else.
Jim Baker: Why do you think you`re a dork? I don`t think you`re a dork. I don`t think Mom thinks you`re a dork.
Samantha: Mike thinks I`m a dork.
Jim Baker: Mike *is* a dork.
Samantha: I can`t believe I gave my panties to a geek.
Long Duk Dong: No more yankie my wankie. The Donger need food.
The Geek: Can I borrow your underpants for 10 minutes?
The Geek: Nice ma- nice manners, babe.
Randy: Geek, can I be honest with you?
The Geek: Not if you`re gonna insult me.
Randy: [laughs] Ok.
The Geek: Shoot.
Randy: Get the hell outta here.
The Geek: Just answer me one question.
Samantha: Yes, you`re a total fag.
The Geek: Ha ha ha. That`s not the question.
Samantha: Thanks for getting my undies back.
Jake: Thanks for coming over.
Samantha: Thanks for coming to get me.
Jake: Happy Birthday, Samantha. Make a wish.
Samantha: It already came true.
The Geek: Relax, would you? We have seventy dollars and a pair of girls underpants. We`re safe as kittens.
[on the phone to the police]
Howard: What was he wearing? Well, uh, let`s see, he was wearing a red argyle sweater, and tan trousers, and red shoes... No, he`s not retarded.
Grandpa Fred: Hey Howard, there`s your Chinaman.
Howard: Thanks Fred.
Jim Baker: [to Samantha] I don`t think I can sleep tonight if I don`t think our little talk did some good. So... be a sport and lie to me, okay?
Howard: Dong. Where is my automobile?
Long Duk Dong: Oto-mo-biiile?
Samantha: I can`t believe this. They fucking forgot my birthday.
Ginny: Darling is something bothering you?
[pause]
Ginny: ...you`re acting like... an asshole. And I think I know what it is.I think you`re jealous that I`m getting married and that I`m getting all the attention.
Samantha: You know everyone in this family has gone total outer limits.
Ginny: No Sam, I think you`re just acting selfish and immature.
Samantha: Oh yes that`s it. That`s exactly it.
Ginny: [to herself] I can`t believe it. You make someone a bridesmaid and they shit all over you.
Long Duk Dong: Ooh. Sexy Girlfriend.
Long Duk Dong: What`s happenin` hot stuff?
Long Duk Dong: Very clever dinner. Appetizing food fit neatly into interesting round pie.
Mike Baker: It`s a quiche.
Long Duk Dong: How do you spell?
Grandpa Fred: Well you don`t spell it, son, you eat it.
Mike Baker: What the hell are you bitchin` about? I gotta sleep under some Chinaman named after a duck`s dork.
Jake: I do independent study with her. I catch her lookin` at me a lot. It`s kinda cool, the way she`s always lookin` at me.
Jock: Maybe she`s retarded
Jake: I`m being serious, ok. She looks at me like she`s in love with me.
Jake: Yes, hello sir... Um
Howard: Are you the little bugger that`s been calling up here all night and then hanging up?
Jake: Would it be possible for you to tell me if there is a Samantha Baker there and if so may I converse with her briefly?
Howard: Yes there is and NO you may not.
Jake: Might I leave a message sir?
Howard: He wants to leave a message for Sam.
Jake: I thought she hated me.
Jake: I want a serious girlfriend. Somebody I can love, that`s gonna love me back. Is that psycho?
Randy: Last night at the dance, my little brother paid a buck to see your underwear.
Samantha: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH.
The Geek: Jake is your dad a big guy?
Jake: Oh, about 6`4"
The Geek: Very nice
The Geek: [Repeated Line] Take those ridiculous things off!
The Geek: [noticing the car Jake puts Caroline in] This, uh, this your car, Jake?
Jake: No, this is my dad`s car. You said you couldn`t drive a stick.
The Geek: This is a motherfu - ! This is a Rolls Royce, Jake.
Jake: So?
The Geek: SO? So? I hear the grill ALONE costs five grand on this. Five grand! You have five grand? I don`t have five grand!
Jake: Then don`t hit anything.
The Geek: [incredulous] Ha ha! Don`t hit anything
The Geek: [takes item from Caroline] Oh thank you, thanks.
Caroline: Ha ha ha! Now we`re both on the pill.
The Geek: What?
[spits out]
The Geek: You gave me a birth control pill? Do you know what that can do to a guy my age?
Caroline: I know exactly what they do for a girl my age. It makes it OK to be really, super-careless!
Jake: Open this door!
Long Duk Dong: No way, Jose!
Jake: Open the door!
Long Duk Dong: You punch my face!
Jake: You grabbed my nuts!
Samantha: Then where am I sleeping?
Mike Baker: Sofa City, Sweetheart!
Brenda Baker: Don`t be a smartass.
Mike Baker: Ok, I`ll be a dumbass.
[ring-ring, no one answers the phone... ]
Jake: [as he hangs up] Ahh, eat me.
Howard: Who was it? Well what did they want?
Dorothy Baker: [shocked] Sex.
Dorothy Baker: [to Sam and Long Duk Dong] Wait a minute. I have a wonderful idea! Would you like to go to the dance with Sam?
Grandma Helen: [attempting to help with breakfast by opening a box of doughnuts] No, don`t wanna use the nails.
Grandma Helen: [finally opening the box of doughnuts with a knife] Voila! Breakfast is ready!
Samantha: May I be excused?
Grandma Helen: Where are you going?
Samantha: I have a dance to go to at school. It`s a very important dance... we`re being graded on it for Gym.
Randy: [Samantha has filled out an "anonymous" sex quiz naming her crush, which has fallen into unknown hands] Jake Ryan? He doesn`t even know you exist.
Samantha: Thank you, that`s a very nice thing to say.
Randy: I`m sorry, but Jake Ryan? He`s a senior, and he`s taken. I mean really taken.
Samantha: I know. He`s supposed to be my ideal.
Randy: He`s ideal for sure, but forget it.
Samantha: God, I hope whoever got that note doesn`t know it was me who wrote it. I`d shit twice and die.
Samantha: Oh my God! What should I do? Should I go up to him and be like, "Hi I`m Samantha" or should I let him come to me?
The Geek: This is not my department.
[Jake rings doorbell at Samantha`s house]
Long Duk Dong: Okay. I`m comin`.
[opens closet door]
Long Duk Dong: Hello? Jeez, this place is so confusing. Okay.
[opens front door, screams and shuts door]
Long Duk Dong: Go away! I call F.I.B. I call police! Go away!
Jake: Open the door.
Long Duk Dong: No way, Jose!
Jake: Open the door.
Long Duk Dong: You beat up my face.
Jake: You grabbed my nuts.
Long Duk Dong: [looks through frosted glass on door] Is that you?
Jake: Yeah, that me.
Long Duk Dong: [opens door] Oh, I`m so sorry. I thought you my new - new-style American girlfriend.
Jake: Forget it, man. Just get Samantha, all right?
Long Duk Dong: She not here.
Jake: Don`t jerk me around, man. Where is she?
Long Duk Dong: She got married.
Jake: What?
Long Duk Dong: She at the church. She getting married to oily bohunk.
Jake: Married?
Long Duk Dong: Married.
Jake: Married?
Long Duk Dong: Yeah. Married
[closes door]
Jake: [turns around, under breath to himself] Married?
Long Duk Dong: Married! Jeez.
The Geek: Very nice! We`re five minutes in... I`m at a loss.
Bryce: Real smooth, Cliff.
Trivia
In the VHS version, Anthony Michael Hall is credited as "The Geek". In the TV movie and film versions, he is credited as "Farmer Ted."
The license plate on Jake`s car reads "21850", which is director John Hughes`s birthday (2/18/50).
Jim Carrey auditioned for the role of Ted "The Geek".
Filmed at Niles East High School. Some of the students in the big party scene are wearing Niles East Trojans jackets and shirts. Niles East is in Skokie, Illinois and was closed for over ten years when the filming started.
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# Niles East High School, the school where the movie was filmed, is now part of Oakton Community College and has been compeletly remodeled.
Molly Ringwald almost lost the part of "Samantha" to Ally Sheedy.
In late 2003, USA network announced that a made-for-TV sequel called "32 Candles" was being planned, showcasing the original characters 16 years after the original film. It was unknown at the time of the announcement whether any of the original cast would be involved with the project.
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# When Molly Ringwald and Anthony Michael Hall first met, they did not get along at all. Director John Hughes took them shopping at a music store and they discovered they had similar musical tastes and eventually got along.
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# When Sam (Molly Ringwald) and her friend are in the lunch line, one of the menu selections behind the lunch lady`s head reads "Canned Brownies in Light Syrup."
According to Gedde Watanabe (Long Duk Dong) there was a deleted scene where he sings at the dance.
When Samantha is in her room talking on the phone with her friend a promotional poster can be seen on the wall for the rock group Squeeze and their album entitled "Singles" which was released in 1982.
Samantha`s dad`s car has the license plate "V58", which stands for "Vacation `58", a story John Hughes wrote in National Lampoon Magazine.
The cake at the end of the movie is actually made of cardboard.
There is a poster of “The Fall Guy" actress Heather Thomas on the back of Mike`s bedroom door.
Both Molly Ringwald and Anthony Michael Hall were 16 years old upon release of Sixteen Candles.
The movie`s line "Can I borrow your underpants for ten minutes?" was voted as the #86 of "The 100 Greatest Movie Lines" by Premiere in 2007.
Brother and sister John and Joan Cusack co-star in Sixteen Candles. John is Bryce, one of Anthony Michael Hall`s geeky friends. Joan is the geeky girl seen on the bus, and having trouble sipping water from a drinking fountain.
Other music posters in Samantha`s house include Culture Club, Stray Cats (over her bed), and Sammy Hagar.
Samantha says that Caroline `must have flunked nine grades` because of her mature figure for a high school student. In actuality, Haviland Morris was 25 years old during filming. Michael Schoeffling (Jake Ryan) was 24.
The German title of the film, "Das darf man nur als Erwachsener", translates to "One may do that only as an adult".
One scene which was cut from the final theatrical version but later shown in the TV version was shot in the cafeteria at one of Niles East`s two sister schools`, Niles North.
The woman that Ginny Baker tries to sit next to at the wedding is Agnes Belushi, the mother of John Belushi. She is not credited.
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Anthony Hall
(as Farmer Ted)
with Haviland Morris
(as Caroline Mulford)
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