Quotes
 Laura: I should`ve kicked her in the face! I should`ve scratched out her eyes! Laura: Why don`t you give like the rest of the children?
Nellie Oleson: My mother say`s we`re not like the rest of the children!
Laura: I suppose she`s right.
Caroline: I`ll be working for Nellie. It`s not the same.
Charles: Besides a few pounds, there`s no difference.
Nellie Oleson: Hello, Laura.
Laura: Hi, Nellie.
Nellie Oleson: Willie told me all about your class project. How`s yours coming?
Laura: I haven`t started it yet.
Nellie Oleson: I see. It must be very hard tracing all your relatives. Names and everything. Have to spend all that time in the forest or wherever it is you`re from.
Laura: It`s called the Big Woods and I`ll manage thank you.
Nellie Oleson: You know the Oleson family goes all the way back to royalty. We come from heads of state and titles for most of my relatives.
Laura: Like Nero and Ivan the Terrible?
Nellie Oleson: I`ll fix her. You`ll see.
Mrs. Oleson: Laura Ingalls! Where is the filthy animal?
Laura: Nellie you`re mother wants you! (Laura pushes Nellie down the hill in her wheelchair) You`re a good friend, Nellie! A good friend!
[Nellie`s wheelchair rolls down the hill and she lands in a horse trough. She stands up, completely wet]
Mrs. Oleson: My baby... It`s a miracle... (She faints)
Nellie Oleson: What`s so secretive?
Laura: Nothing.
Nellie Oleson: Whispering`s rude!
Laura: So is listening in on the people who are doing it!
[discussing the birth of Caroline Ingalls` fourth child]
Mrs. Oleson: Well, in my case, Nellie and Willie were MORE than enough.
Caroline: In the case of Nellie and Willie, Mrs. Oleson, I`d have to agree with you.
Laura: I wanted to clean the blackboards extra good today, to make up for being late.
Mary Ingalls Kendall: And talking in class?
Laura: I was NOT talking!
Mary Ingalls Kendall: You were, too!
Laura: Was NOT! Nellie was TALKING and I was ANSWERING.
Nellie Oleson: I wonder why Laura Ingalls doesn`t come in the store anymore?
Willie Oleson: Because she`s too poor to buy anything - that`s why!
Nellie Oleson: So`s her father. Mother says he can`t even afford to pay what he owes in the store. He just spends all day cleaning up after horses.
Laura: My pa works hard.
Nellie Oleson: So does a mule.
Laura: Pa, can I ride Bunny into town instead of riding in the wagon?
Charles: I guess so, but is that because you feel like riding or because you want to make Nellie jealous?
Laura: [pause] A little of both, I guess.
Caroline: [Mrs. Oleson has caused a student to run out of the schoolhouse] Children! Can any of you spell "compassion"? Can any of you spell "understanding"? Will any of you tell us the meaning of these words?
[pause]
Caroline: Well, don`t feel bad children - I don`t think Mrs. Oleson knows the meaning to these words, either.
Laura: [referring to Johnny Johnson] I think he`s the best looking boy in the whole school.
Mary Ingalls Kendall: That`s not saying much!
Julia Sanderson: Charles... I`m gonna die.
Charles: [shocked] What?
Julia Sanderson: I`m going to die. That`s a heck of a thing to tell a neighbor, isn`t it?
Laura: I hate that Nellie Oleson!
Caroline: Laura! Don`t say "hate" - don`t even think "hate"! I`m sure Nellie has her good qualities somewhere.
Charles: Your ma`s right, half-pint. Now on the way home, we`ll try and think of some!
Nellie Oleson: Half the time, you don`t even SMELL like a girl! You`re either sweaty, or you stink of fish!
Laura: Well... I sweat a lot and I fish a lot!
Mrs. Oleson: [after an argument] Mrs. Ingalls, we will not be requiring any more eggs in the immediate future.
Caroline: Mrs. Oleson, the hens will be RELIEVED to hear that!
Alice Garvey: Sometimes I wonder how Harriet Oleson has managed to stay alive for as long as she has!
Laura: You know something, Mary...?
Mary Ingalls Kendall: No, what?
Laura: Life sure is a lot easier when you don`t like boys!
Mary Ingalls Kendall: That Nellie Oleson is the meanest girl I ever did see! I could never be as mean as that!
Laura: I could - meaner!
[pause]
Laura: If Ma and Pa would let me!
Mrs. Oleson: [to her husband, who holds a shotgun, when they catch daughter Nellie with her new husband] Nels - make her a WIDOW!
[Nellie has stomach pains]
Mrs. Oleson: Do you know what I think it is? I think it`s that strange food you make for your husband!
Nellie Oleson: But he likes it, and it doesn`t make him sick!
Mrs. Oleson: Well, of course HE likes it - he`s used to it! He`s Jewish. A person can get used to ANYTHING! Look at the cannibals... they eat each other, and they think it`s just dandy!
Reverend Robert Alden: [at Julia Sanderson`s funeral] Julia Sanderson asked me to read this today. She wrote it for all of you, loved ones and friends alike... ”Remember me with smiles and laughter, for that is how I`ll remember you all. If you can only remember me with tears, then don`t remember me at all"... loud and clear.
Charles: I pray and I pray... why doesn`t God listen?
Reverend Robert Alden: He listens, Charles. He doesn`t always answer in the way that we want, but in a way He thinks is best for each of us.
Charles: How can taking the sight from a fifteen year old girl be the best thing, Reverend?
Reverend Robert Alden: Believe me, Charles. God has chosen Mary for some very special purpose.
Charles: Tomorrow, I have to tell my daughter that she`s going blind. What shall I tell her is that special purpose?
Mary Ingalls Kendall: [the tragic moment, when Mary Ingalls awakens to discover she has lost her sight] Help me, Pa! HELP ME! Pa, I can`t SEE! Hold me! It`s dark! I`m scared, Pa! Hold me! It`s too dark! I can`t breathe!
Laura: Hard working folks only smell bad to people who have nothing better than stick their noses in the air! Well, whenever you stick your nose in the air with me, Nellie Oleson, it`s going to get punched!
Albert Quinn Ingalls: Ma, please don`t tell me I`m too young to know how I feel!
Caroline: I wasn`t going to tell you that, and don`t ever raise your voice to me while you live in this house.
Almanzo James Wilder: [trying to give Laura a nickname] What`s your given name?
Laura: Laura Elizabeth Ingalls.
Almanzo James Wilder: Laura Elizabeth...
[pause]
Almanzo James Wilder: How about Beth?
Mrs. Oleson: If God wanted me to talk with my hands, he wouldn`t have given me a mouth.
Nelson "Nels" Oleson: [looks toward the camera very seriously] I guess even God can make mistakes!
Nelson "Nels" Oleson: [to Mrs. Oleson] You should be locked up in a cage and fed with a stick; you have made life miserable for everyone.
Mrs. Oleson: My back is killing me again...
[in the presence of Mrs. Ingalls]
Nelson "Nels" Oleson: [doing inventory on his shoes] ... and again, and again...
Mrs. Oleson: What did you say?
Nelson "Nels" Oleson: I`m just counting these shoe sizes dear. And a ten and a ten, four sizes.
Mrs. Oleson: You disgraced me in front of the town.
Reverend Robert Alden: [trying to heal their broken marriage] Please - there must be forgiveness!
Nelson "Nels" Oleson: Don`t talk to me about forgiveness `til you lived with a woman like that!
Mrs. Oleson: tssskkk
[both of them leave the church]
[repeated line]
Nancy Oleson: YOU HATE ME!
[repeated line]
Mrs. Oleson: Oh, for HEAVEN`S sakes!
Trivia
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In the "The Last Farewell", they really did blow up the town. Producer/star Michael Landon didn`t want the bulldozers to crush the buildings. So he wrote a story which gave the inhabitants the chance to destroy their town themselves. They did not however destroy the home that the Ingalls had lived in. That was destroyed by the fires in California in late 2003.
Out of the many young girls who auditioned for the role of Laura Ingalls, Michael Landon was convinced immediately that `Melissa Gilbert` was the perfect candidate. In fact, he was so certain that Gilbert`s was the only screen test that he sent to the producers at NBC
Alison Arngrim originally auditioned for the role of Laura Ingalls, but was not successful. She then tried out for the role of Laura`s sister Mary, to the same avail. However, when auditioning for the role of "Nasty" Nellie Oleson, she was hired on the spot for playing mean so convincingly.
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# In the episode "Here Come the Brides", Scottie MacGregor was actually injured in the scene where Mrs. Olson falls off the horse. Because MacGregor was unable to do the next sequence, Ruth Foster (who plays Mrs. Foster in the show) dressed in Mrs. Olson`s costume and filmed the scene for her instead.
The character Charles Ingalls was ranked #4 in TV Guide`s list of the "50 Greatest TV Dads of All Time" (20 June 2004 issue).
The character Nellie Oleson was ranked #3 in TV Guide`s list of "TV`s 10 Biggest Brats" (27 March 2005 issue).
Dean Butler remarked that the first kiss between him and `Melissa Gilbert` (Laura) was so nerve-racking for everyone, that there were chaperones on the set to make sure nothing unseemly was going on. From the sidelines, Melissa`s mother Barbara was wailing "My baby!" so much that she had to be consoled.
In the episode "The Last Farewell", where the town of Walnut Grove is blown up, one of the few buildings left clearly standing was the church/schoolhouse.
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# Mary`s husband, Adam Kendall, was studying law when he went blind. Just before he regained his eyesight, he passed the bar. After he regained his eyesight, he began a law practice in Walnut Grove.
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# Michael Landon had a unique way of inspiring child actors to cry when required for a scene. `Melissa Gilbert` described how he would work himself up emotionally, face her with his eyes full of tears and ask her, "Do you know how much I love you?" to which she would get all teary and emotional in response.
The theme song was penned by David Rose, who wrote many theme songs. However, he is best known for the 1962 Burlesque classic, The Stripper.
Since Walnut Grove had no jail of it`s own, Nels Oleson`s ice house served as such for anyone awaiting trial.
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# Although loosely based on the real stories penned by Laura Ingalls Wilder, the show took many liberties with different characters. The biggest example of this is the character of Albert Ingalls, who in fact never existed; Charles and Caroline Ingalls were the parents of four daughters, Mary, Laura, Carrie, and Grace.
The first dog the Ingallses owned was Jack. After he died, they adopted a stray black and white dog named Bandit.
Laura`s favorite perfume was lemon verbena. Mr. Edwards gave it to her in two episodes. Once when she was a little girl, and again after she was grown up.
CASTLE THUNDER: Heard every time it storms.
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# The only prime-time non-reality series to stay in production during the 1980 actors` strike and the 1981 writers` strike, which delayed both fall seasons. Michael Landon, representing NBC rather than a studio, negotiated deals with SAG and WGA to allow the show to continue filming under a separate contract, while the actors and writers continued to boycott the studios. (He did the same with the Writers Guild of America, purchasing scripts from the new members of the union, on the final season of "Highway to Heaven" (1984), which he owned. NBC didn`t use his new episodes during the fall of 1988, though.)
Actor E.J. André appeared on the series 7 times, in 5 different roles. The characters he portrayed were Zachariah, Jed Cooper, St. Peter, Matthew Simms and Amos Thoms.
Quite possibly the first TV show where male adults (and practically everyone else) would be seen crying in all seriousness (as opposed to for comical effect etc.). Because of this trend, once the show got aired in Iceland, it quickly got nicknamed "Crying in The Cornfield" by viewers and haters alike.
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Melissa Gilbert
(as Laura Elizabeth Ingalls)
with Dean Butler
(as Almanzo James Wilder)
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