Quotes
 Simon: I`ve been thinking.
Joe: Yeah?
Simon: Last year we were in the squirt league, and this year we`re in the pewee.
Joe: So?
Simon: So what do they want us to do, play baseball or urinate? Anyway, I was just thinking. Adult Joe Wenteworth: Time is a monster that cannot be reasoned with. It responds like a snail to our impatience, then it races like a gazelle when you can`t catch a breath.
Simon: You`re already a bastard. Might as well be an enlightened one.
Simon: I`m a miracle you know.
Joe: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Simon: She`s so sexy that sometimes I forget she`s someone`s mother.
Joe: Well, what if I said the same thing about your mother?
Simon: I`d have you committed.
Simon: If God`s made the church bake sale a priority, we`re in a lot of trouble.
Simon: What I want to do and what I do are two separate things. If we all went around doing what we wanted all the time, there`d be chaos.
Simon: Your mother is so sexy, sometimes I forget she`s someone`s mother.
Joe: What if I said the same thing about your mother?
Simon: I`d have you committed.
Adult Joe Wenteworth: [voiceover] I am doomed to remember a boy with a wrecked voice, not because of his voice, or because he was the smallest person I ever knew, or even because he was the instrument of my mother`s death, but because he is the reason I believe in God. What faith I have, I owe to Simon Birch, the boy I grew up with in Gravedown, Maine.
Joe: I have faith. I just need proof to back it up.
Simon: I said, what does coffee and donuts have to do with God?
Rev. Russell: They`re merely refreshments so people can socialize and talk about up coming events.
Simon: Who ever said church needs a continental breakfast?
Rev. Russell: What are you doing sitting in a corner Simon?
Simon: Thinking about God.
Rev. Russell: In a corner?
Simon: Faith is not in a floor plan.
Joe: My balls just turned to prunes!
Simon: My balls just turned to raisins!
Simon: It`s the *Virgin* Mary, Eddie. What does Joseph have to do with anything?
Simon: Ahh! It`s a horse!
Simon: I don`t think God`s plan includes breaking and entering.
Simon: I don`t see how pork chops could lead to intercourse, no matter how good they are.
Simon: I look like a burn victim.
Simon: Boobs!
Miss Leavy: The Star of Bethlehem is not a piņata!
Simon: Now get over there with the other flying monkeys, where you belong.
Miss Leavy: The Virgin Mary does not chew gum.
Adult Joe Wenteworth: Ben Goodrich legally adopted me just two days before my 13th birthday. Not a day that goes by that I don`t thank God for bringing him into my life. With Simon`s help, I had finally found my real father.
Simon Birch: Sex makes people crazy.
Simon Birch: Thank you Miss Wenteworth.
Rebecca Wenteworth: You know what Simon? Thank you.
Simon Birch: I`m sorry! I`m sorry!
Adult Joe Wenteworth: When someone you love dies, you don`t lose them all at once. You lose them in pieces over time, like how the mail stops coming. What I remember most to this day was my mother`s scent and how I hated it when it began to disappear. First from her closets, then from her dresses she had sewn herself and then finally from her bedsheets and pillow cases. Simon and I never talked much about that day on the baseball field. It was too painful for both of us. For as much as I loved my mother, I knew that Simon loved her just as much. She was the only real mother he ever had.
Joe: Jesus, Simon, you look like shit.
Miss Leavy: [reading off remaining roles for the Christmas play] ... Well, there`s the shepherds, but they don`t do much -
[Everyone`s hands spring up instantaneously]
Adult Joe Wenteworth: [voicecover] Miss Leavy always tried to downplay the role of the shepherds, but we weren`t fooled. We knew that all you had to do was stand there with a staff and try not to laugh at all the poor fools with speaking parts.
Joe: Hey, your son is not a screw up, he`s a hero.
Mr. Birch: What?
Joe: I said he`s a hero. And you don`t deserve him. I want you to know that.
Trivia
John Irving himself provided the name Simon Birch for the producers to use in place of Owen Meany.
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# Author John Irving doubted his novel, "A Prayer for Owen Meany", could ever be turned into a film, and sold the screen rights on the condition it not be released under the same name as his book.
Sandra Bullock was, at one point, considered for the part of Rebecca Wenteworth.
A music video was released, where Kenneth `Babyface` Edmonds is featured alongside the bus from the movie.
This makes the second movie that David Strathairn and Joseph Mazzello have portrayed father and son, the first being The River Wild (1994).
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