Trivia and Quotes
Quotes
 Jack Wyatt: How would you like to be on a television show?
Isabel Bigelow: An actress?
Jack Wyatt: Yeah, if *I* can act, *you* can act.
Book Soup Cafe Waitress: Amen.
Jack Wyatt: [to girl] You know what? I think those people over there just finished their plate of *hummus*. from trailer]
Isabel Bigelow: I am through with just snapping my fingers and getting my way.
Coffee Shop Waitress: Uh, no breakfast after 11.
Isabel Bigelow: Oh.
[snaps fingers and clock turns back from 11 to 10:55]
Isabel Bigelow: My absolutely last thing!
from trailer]
Maria Kelly: I love that show! Is that the one with the genie?
[from trailer]
Isabel Bigelow: Guess what? I`m a witch!
Jack Wyatt: Guess what? I`m a Clippers fan!
[Isabel changes a tarot card into a Visa Platinum Card to pay at Bed, Bath, and Beyond]
Isabel Bigelow: That was my last thing as a witch!
Jack Wyatt: Your home... is with me.
Uncle Arthur: Run, you idiot.
Uncle Arthur: Do you want the long version or the short version? And I have to warn you, the long version is in Aramaic.
Jack Wyatt: [takes a drink of something Uncle Arthur has just made in the blender] This tastes awful!
Uncle Arthur: I know. I just like to blend.
Jack Wyatt: [upon discovering Isabel is a witch] Am I gonna get pregnant? Because I cannot get pregnant right now!
Isabel Bigelow: But everyone loves duck...
Jack Wyatt: No, they don`t!
Isabel Bigelow: [jumping up and down in excitement with Maria] I don`t know why we`re doing this, but it`s fun!
Isabel Bigelow: [after Darin`s dog jumps into her arms] Thank God you didn`t have a great Dane!
Isabel Bigelow: [Jack Wyatt is being a jerk on "Inside the Actor`s Studio." Isabel gets on the phone with Nina] Yes, I`m watching it. What`s a "dick?"
Isabel Bigelow: [Isabel rewinds time to undo a hex that was put on Jack and ends up back to where she was on the phone with Nina while watching Jack on "Inside the Actor`s Studio."] Yes, I`m watching it, and you`re right, he is a great big male reproductive organ!
Ritchie: Will you stop it? You`re being the mayor of Pussytown!
Jack Wyatt: I don`t want to be the mayor of Pussytown!
Ritchie: I want you to get out there and be the sheriff of Ballsville!
Valet: [to Isabel, who is trying to convince Jack that she is actually a witch] Miss, could you direct me to your car.
Jack Wyatt: [sarcastically] Oh, she doesn`t need a car, she has a broomstick.
Maria Kelly: When my first husband left me I was so angry I wanted to cut his brake cables... but instead we ended up having sex on the elliptical machine.
Jack Wyatt: Endora, you rancid fruit bag, get out of my room.
Jack Wyatt: Let`s make love in a hot-air balloon - let`s make love in a candy factory - let`s make love in a petting zoo...
Isabel Bigelow: I have to undo this...
Jack Wyatt: Let`s make love at Sea World on the back of a killer whale!
Jack Wyatt: I`m going to be killed by a fictional character!
Uncle Arthur: Yes, you are.
Girl: [Nigel Bigelow does a double take at a pretty girl] Hey there! I have Hepatitis C!
Ritchie: That`s it. You`re fired.
Isabel Bigelow: Doesn`t matter... I quit! Yeah, so you better call my agent.
Jim Fields: You don`t have an agent.
Isabel Bigelow: Then call my cable man!
Isabel Bigelow: You`re sweating again - I love it when you sweat!
Isabel Bigelow: [after quitting/being fired] I can`t just walk back in there now.
Jack Wyatt: Once you show up in a golf cart, believe me, all is forgiven. I`ve done it a lot of times.
Jack Wyatt: Watch the road!
Uncle Arthur: Hey, is it Porsche, or Porsha?
Jack Wyatt: [reading a comment on his performance] I`m a tool?
Ritchie: Yeah, but a good tool. Like a jack-saw!
Maria Kelly: Oh, and when you go out with a guy be sure he has a brother or a friend who is single before you call me!
Maria Kelly: Look, you have three choices. You can either quit... give up... or get mad.
Isabel Bigelow: What would Samantha do?
[Looks at picture of Elizabeth Montgomery &sets things off in the studio lot]
Maria Kelly: She chose mad, right?
Jack Wyatt: Party at my house!
[first lines]
Isabel Bigelow: [Outside a house at which Isabel has just landed and made available for rent, furnished, with an open house today] It`s perfect!
Realtor: Oh, great!
Isabel Bigelow: I`ll take it.
[last lines]
Gladys Kravitz: [Standing at their window] Abner, come look! The new neighbors are movin` in!
Abner Kravitz: [Reading the newspaper] Not now, Gladys, I`m busy.
Isabel Bigelow: [Outside, in front of their new house, Jack lifts Isabel] Aaaah
Jack Wyatt: Ah, yes, now I`m going to... carry you across the threshold
[they enter]
Isabel Bigelow: Don`t you think the front yard looks a little bare?
Jack Wyatt: No, I don`t.
Isabel Bigelow: But I think it could use a little something.
Jack Wyatt: I-I-It`s fine the way it is, honey.
[Nose wiggling sound, followed by cherry tree growing and blooming in the front yard]
Gladys Kravitz: Abner! A tree just appeard in the front yard!
[She faints]
Nina: Let`s set fire to his trailer. Let`s just do it.
Nina: We could electrocute him. There`s ton of wires around here.
Nina: We have to make him quit. If we get naked pictures of him and pictures of farm animals, I could photoshop them.
Maria Kelly: That`s an excellent idea!
Aunt Clara: Well what`s your idea Little Miss Doubtful?
Nina: Well, I have a taser.
Maria Kelly: Nina.
Nina: I think we should taser him and throw him into the shark tank at Seaworld.
Jack Wyatt: [under Isabel`s spell] Where art thou dog? Thy canine lover? / Where is thy hot breath on the nape of my neck? / We shall form a bond, man and beast. / You will lick my face and I shall lick your snout.
[spell breaks]
Jack Wyatt: Er guys, I swear I`m not doing this on purpose.
Jack Wyatt: Where is my dog? I will die if I do not have him back! Do you understand me? I WILL DIE IF I DO NOT HAVE HIM BACK!
Nina: There must be a solution!
Isabel Bigelow: No, there isn`t. We`re at The Coffee Bean, and there is... no... solution.
Jack Wyatt: Umm... This is terrible!
Uncle Arthur: I know! I just... love to blend!
Isabel Bigelow: Oh, we`re going to kiss aren`t we?
Jack Wyatt: I thought so. But, thanks for ruining the moment Miss Narrator.
Jack Wyatt: So, were your parents in the witch business?
Isabel Bigelow: Both of them. My mother fixed the 1986 World Series.
Stu Robison: Someone make a note of that.
Isabel Bigelow: Your life is total instant gratification, Daddy.
Nigel Bigelow: It`s fantastic, isn`t it?
Isabel Bigelow: No. No, it`s not. Because how do you know that anyone really loves you for yourself? It`s like those rich men who are never sure why women sleep with them.
Nigel Bigelow: But women sleep with them, so it`s not really a problem.
Trivia
Nicole Kidman was told not to twitch her nose in public until after the film was released, but did after much pestering from Jonathan Ross on "Friday Night with Jonathan Ross" (2001).
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# Joan Plowright was originally cast as Aunt Clara, but had to pull out. By Kristin Chenoweth`s recommendation, the role was given to Carole Shelley; the two had costarred in the Broadway production of "Wicked". Shelley took a week off appearing in the show to film her scenes.
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Jim Carrey was approached to play Jack Wyatt/Darrin Stephens, but had to decline because of other commitments.
Broomsticks were sent out to movie theaters as promotional items for the film.
Before Nicole Kidman was cast as Samantha, Jennifer Aniston, Gwyneth Paltrow, Cameron Diaz and Alicia Silverstone were also considered.
Kristin Chenoweth`s part was written specifically for her, because Nicole Kidman very much enjoyed her performance as Glinda in the Broadway musical "Wicked."
The part of Nigel Bigelow was written specifically for Michael Caine.
While the old Columbia lot house from the television show was not used in the movie, the house exterior on the sound stage was labeled 1164. The normally accepted address for the Stephens` was 1164 Morning Glory Circle, Westport, Connecticut.
When Aunt Clara`s bag drops from the chimney, a whole bunch of doorknobs fall out of it. This is in reference to the original series in which Aunt Clara collected doorknobs.
Some deleted and alternate footage appears in the movie`s trailer: - In Bed Bath & Beyond there`s an exchange between Nigel and Isabel in which he says, "But you`re a witch." To which she replies, "I know, but I`m not gonna be one anymore." - Footage of Jack in an arctic movie is displayed full screen not within a TV set like in the film. - Footage of the new animated "Bewitched" opening credits are shown on a TV set, not full screen like in the film. - The dialog between Jack and Isabel outside of the café is different. Jack: "Just come and show everybody what you look like when you..." Isabel: "What?" Jack: "...wiggle your nose." In the film Jack says "Just come and show everybody what you look like when you do it" without an interruption by Isabel. - There`s some extra shots during the Bed Bath & Beyond checkout scene: Isabel`s hand in her shopping cart, then a close-up of the credit card swiping machine while the cashier pushes a button on the cash register in the background to bring up the total displayed on the machine.
After Isabel tells Jack that she`s a witch, he asks, "Am I gonna get pregnant? Because I cannot get pregnant right now!" Endora cast a spell causing Darrin to feel the same pregnancy symptoms that Samantha was feeling in an early episode of the original series, "Bewitched" (1964).
The Bewitched theme that we hear about halfway through the film, complete with lyrics, sounds like Frank Sinatra but it was actually a 1964 recording done by Steve Lawrence who was known for his uncanny impersonation of Sinatra.
When they play "Ding Dong the Witch is Dead" at the party, the roses on the table are Judy Garland roses.
In one scene, Jack Wyatt (Will Ferrell) is on "Inside the Actors Studio" (1994), being interviewed by James Lipton. Will Ferrell is known for doing an imitation of James Lipton and parodying Inside the Actors Studio on "Saturday Night Live" (1975).
The house that Isabel rents was chosen by director Nora Ephron because it had belonged to friends of her parents and she visited it many times as a child. By pure coincidence, those friends were Larry Berns and his wife, Sandra Gould, who played the second, better-known Gladys Kravitz. Alice Pearce, the first Gladys Kravitz, died after the second season and was replaced with Gould. Ephron claims in the DVD commentary that she didn`t realize this until after the movie was made.
Hanging on a mirror in Isabel Bigelow`s dressing room is a picture of the late Elizabeth Montgomery -- the original Samantha Stevens from the "Bewitched" (1964) TV series.
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Nicole Kidman
(as Isabel Bigelow | Samantha)
with Will Ferrell
(as Jack Wyatt | Darrin)
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