Quotes
 Rusty Duritz: Isn`t it cool we both have to go to the bathroom at the same time?
Russ Duritz: Yes. I`ll cherish this moment for a lifetime. Rusty Duritz: How old are you?
Russ Duritz: Forty. In a couple days.
Rusty Duritz: That is old! I`m turning eight. In a couple days.
Russ Duritz: Eight. You`re eight. I`m eight.
Rusty Duritz: This is scary.
Russ Duritz: No. This is hilarious.
Rusty Duritz: So, I`m forty, I`m not married, I don`t fly jets, and I don`t have a dog? I grow up to be a loser.
[Seeing that Russ and Rusty are the same person]
Amy: I wish I was standing on a carpet.
[faints]
Russ Duritz: There`s safety in sandwiches.
Russ Duritz: Look at him. It`s so embarrassing.
Amy: You`re not embarrassing. You`re adorable... then. You`re adorable then.
Rusty Duritz: When do I learn how to drive?
Russ Duritz: When you`re sixteen.
Rusty Duritz: When do I get a car?
Russ Duritz: When you`re eighteen.
Rusty Duritz: When do I get a hickey?
Russ Duritz: [smile] When you`re seventeen.
Rusty Duritz: When do I find out what a hickey is?
Russ Duritz: Not tonight.
Rusty Duritz: Holy smokes... 99 channels and there`s nothing on!
Russ Duritz: Toshiya, let me ask you something. If you get called a jerk four times in a single day, does that make it true?
Amy: What, only four? Did you get up late?
Russ Duritz: Excuse me, I`m asking Toshiya.
Toshia: Four times is a pattern. It have to be five times to be a fact.
Russ Duritz: Thank you. See? There`s hope after all.
Amy: Jerk.
Russ Duritz: Stop biting your nails.
Amy: *Nail.* I only bite one. What`s it to you, anyway?
Russ Duritz: It matters because you work for me. When you bite your nails, you`re advertising nervousness and insecurity.
Amy: Really? Advertising all that with one little nail?
[pushes up her nose at him]
Amy: What`s this advertise?
Russ Duritz: Stop biting.
Amy: Leave me alone. I`m advertising terror and bewilderment.
[on their way to a meeting]
Amy: Wait a minute, wait a minute... Hello.
Russ Duritz: Hello...
Amy: I haven`t seen you in a couple of days, how`ve you been?
Russ Duritz: Fine. Now can we go in?
Amy: No. This is the bit where you ask me.
Russ Duritz: Amy, we`re really late. We don`t have time to...
Amy: Come on, give it a whirl.
Russ Duritz: [bored, condescending] Hi, Amy. How are you doing?
Amy: [shrugs] Fine. We`re really late.
Deirdre Lefever: You thought he was here so you could fix him? It didn`t occur to you that it might be the other way around?
Russ Duritz: ...Not until recently, no.
Deirdre Lefever: Well, let`s take stock of your life. You`re turning forty tomorrow, and you haven`t acquired a single thing of real value in your life, and no, money doesn`t count. You never see your family, you`re virtually friendless, and you`ve just lost the only woman who means anything to you.
Russ Duritz: Amy? Oh, come on, she`s not... we work together, that`s all. She`s neurotic! She bites her nails... well, one nail.
[holds up his finger]
Russ Duritz: This one.
[realizes]
Russ Duritz: Oh, my God...
Deirdre Lefever: [to the waitress] While he`s getting a clue, could I get a warm-up, please?
[Russ has been talking to Janet on his headset all the way into the building; now he gets off the elevator and walks up to her desk, still talking into his headset]
Janet: Take your phone off now, you`re with a human being.
Russ Duritz: [looking at Rusty] Doesn`t the fact that I`m a pathetic dweeb make you despise me?
Amy: No. Why? Do you despise you?
[Russ calls Janet to meet him in the building`s garage; when she arrives, he steps out from behind the dumpster, where he has been hiding]
Janet: I`m not throwing your dismembered enemies` bodies into the dumpster.
Russ Duritz: Aww, somebody call the waahmbulance!
Trivia
Daniel von Bargen who plays Russ Duritz`s (Bruce Willis) father Sam is only five years older than Willis.
|
Comments
Submit a Comment