Janeane Garofalo Quotes

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People think that you are a nasty, selfish person if you don`t want to have children.

He (God) just seems very man-made to me. There are so many theories, and not everyone can be right. It`s human nature to need a religious crutch, and I don`t begrudge anyone that. I just don`t need one.

I`m not religious anymore, but I think it`s like papal infallibility, which is a ridiculous man-made tenet, like what I believe most religious tenets to be, are man-made after the fact.

The Bible, I`ve said it before, is a beautifully written work of fiction.

To me, there is no greater act of courage than being the one who kisses first.

"I was a 36C or D, and at 5` 1", I knew that being a small person with big boobs standing in front of an audience was not going to be easy. It would be really hard to get people to pay attention to me without mocking me. Getting a breast reduction to prepare for my career was no different from people who work to get good grades to get into a good college to get into a good graduate school to get a good job. I went down to a B cup, and it was the best thing in the whole world."

"We`re (women) our own worst enemies a lot of the time, but I still blame men."

"A lot of the hate mail I get is clearly misogynist. I am a proud liberal, feminist woman, and the hate mail I get about those three things is not about me. It`s about those signifers, and about what the right in this country has managed to do to perpetuate anger over what they mean."

"You know what is good about these Dixie Chicks burnings or bashings? It`s a wonderful, wonderful way for really stupid people to hook up. They meet, they throw some things on the fire, they talk about Vin Diesel, they tell stories about who their favorite Fox anchor is, they exchange phone numbers and in some cases has led to marriages."

"Our country is founded on a sham: our forefathers were slave-owning rich white guys who wanted it their way. So when I see the American flag, I go, `Oh my God, you`re insulting me.` That you can have a gay parade on Christopher Street in New York, with naked men and women on a float cheering, `We`re here, we`re queer!` -- that`s what makes my heart swell. Not the flag, but a gay naked man or woman burning the flag. I get choked up with pride."

"The world would be better off with multiple superpowers. When Communist USSR was a superpower, the world was better off."

After 9/11 disaster from article in Commentary magazine, November 2001: "Who would have thought that I`d be angry on behalf of my country? I`m used to being angry at my country."

"Many people feel that mass acceptance and smooth socialization are desirable life paths for a young adult... Many people are often wrong... Don`t bother being nice. Being popular and well liked is not in your best interest. Let me be more clear; if you behave in a manner pleasing to most, then you are probably doing something wrong. The masses have never been arbiters of the sublime, and they often fail to recognize the truly great individual. Taking into account the public`s regrettable lack of taste, it is incumbent upon you not to fit in." (From her book "Feel This Book," co-written with Ben Stiller)

"I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half-empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth."