By: Steve Goodman
1975
Uh this hotel room`s gotta lotta stuff
Laundry bag and a shoe shine BUFF
Thirty two hangers and a touch tone phone
Well a light that comes on when I ain`t home
I ain`t home
I ain`t home
You better leave a message `cause
I ain`t home
They got an air conditioner for when I`m hot
A radiator for when I`m not
Two big chairs sittin` side by side
With a holy bible and the TV Guide
TV Guide
The TV Guide
Great God Almighty
It`s the TV Guide
I gotta second story view from curb to curb
I gotta sign that reads "Do Not Disturb"
A monogrammed towel and a bucket of ice
A chest of drawers and a mirror that lies
Mirror that lies
A mirror that lies
That couldn`t be me
In the gorilla disguise
They got a room service menu for food and drink
A porcelain throne and an aluminum sink
Two big pillows to rest my head
A Magic Fingers and a king-size bed
Put in a quarter
Turn out the light
Magic Fingers makes ya feel alright
Uh feel alright
Feel alright
Magic Fingers makes you feel alright
Uh this ol` hotel`s all right with me
They pay the postage if you lose the key
This hotel room`s gotta lot of stuff
But I do believe I`ve had enough
Called my baby said don`t you pout
I`m packin` my bags and I`m checkin` out
Just as soon as you hang up the telephone
Stick a candle in the window I`m comin` home
Comin` home
Uh comin` home
Stick a candle in the window
I`m comin` home
Whoa comin` home
Comin` home
Stick a candle in the window
I`m comin` home
-- Spoken: "Thank you boys"
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