Toby Keith - The Critic

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Music Video

Song Lyrics

Tell it like it is...

He gets up real early on his mornin drive.
Down to the office for his 9 to 5.
He drives a 94, 2 ton, economy car.
Loves to tell the local bands down at the bar that he`s The Critic.

Yea, I can hook you up, I know everybody, in the business.

He flunked junior high band he couldn`t march in time.
He tried to write a song once, he couldn`t make it rhyme.
He went two or three chords on a pawn shop guitar, he just never quite had what it took to be a star, so he`s a critic.

I work for the Gazette man...I got a real job.

He did a 5-star column on a band he never heard.
He did a bluegrass review about an unkind word.
He thought it was time to ask his boss for a raise, his boss said I can`t even tell if anybody`s even readin your page.

Yea...

So he thought...and he thought a little more.

He caught a young hot star headin into town, and then he hid behind his typewriter and gunned the boy down.
Here come the letters, the e-mails, the faxes, they raised him to 20,000 dollars after taxes.

He`s a happy critic...

He`s rollin in the dough...

Man I could do this forever...this is easy. Everybody`s readin my column!

Please don`t tell my mom, that I write the music column for the Gazette.
She still thinks I play piano down at the Cathouse.

Let`s get funky with this now boys...Play it on out.

Come on Shannon.

There`s ole Biff jumpin in.

?? is layin it down.

Come on Shannon.

Aww yea, my man Steve.

Man my fingers are gettin tired...y`all gonna have to hurry. This snappin thing...wearin me out.

Hello Shannon.

Guess he`s on coffee break man.

They`re gonna love you...cause they already love me.

(Yea!)

It`s the Critic.

Release History

17 November 2003

Shock'n Y'all

1. I Love This Bar (5:34)
2. Whiskey Girl (3:58)
3. American Soldier (4:23)
4. If I Was Jesus (3:45)
5. Time for Me to Ride (5:23)
6. Sweet (3:06)
7. Don't Leave, I Think I Love You (3:47)
8. Nights I Can't Remember, Friends I'll Never Forget (4:00)
9. Baddest Boots (4:23)
10. The Critic (4:03)
11. The Taliban Song (live) (3:59)
12. Weed With Willie (live) (4:03)