'Weird Al' Yankovic - Amish Paradise

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Music Video

Song Lyrics

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she`s very plain
But that`s just perfect for an Amish like me
You know, I shun fancy things like electricity
At 4:30 in the morning I`m milkin` cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... foo
And I`ve been milkin` and plowin` so long that
Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
I`m a man of the land, I`m into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine
Then tonight we`re gonna party tonight like it`s 1699

We`ve been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
I`ve churned butter once or twice
Living in an Amish paradise
It`s hard work and sacrifice
Living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price
Living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek
I really don`t care, in fact I wish him well
`Cause I`ll be laughing my head off when he`s burning in hell
But I ain`t never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a `tude? You know that`s unheard of
I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, foo
if you come to visit you`ll be bored to tears
We haven`t even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain`t really quaint, so please don`t point and stare
We`re just technologically impaired

There`s no phone, no lights, no motorcar
Not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe
It`s as primitive as can be

We`ve been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
We`re just plain and simple guys
Living in an Amish paradise
There`s no time for sin and vice
Living in an Amish paradise
We don`t fight, we all play nice
Living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin` up the buggy, churnin` lots of butter
Raised the barn on Monday, soon I`ll raise a`nudder
Think you`re really righteous? Think you`re pure in heart?
Well, I know I`m a million times as humble as thou art
I`m the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like
On my knees day and night scorin` points for the afterlife
So don`t be vain and don`t be whiny
Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your hiney

We`ve been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
We`re all crazy Mennonites
Living in an Amish paradise
There`s no cops or traffic lights
Living in an Amish paradise
But you`d probably think it bites
Living in an Amish paradise
ahahahahahahahahahahahahah yech

Release History

1996

Amish Paradise

1. Amish Paradise (3:19)
2. Everything You Know is Wrong (3:46)
3. The Night Santa Went Crazy (Extra Gory Version) (3:59)
4. Dare To Be Stupid (Instrumental) (3:25)

22 November 1999

Pretty Fly (For A Rabbi)

1. Pretty Fly for a Rabbi (3:02)
2. Amish Paradise (3:19)

2009

The Essential "Weird Al" Yankovic

1. Another One Rides The Bus (2:35)
2. Polkas on 45 (4:19)
3. Eat It (3:19)
4. I Lost on Jeopardy (3:26)
5. Yoda (3:58)
6. One More Minute (4:04)
7. Like a Surgeon (3:32)
8. Dare to Be Stupid (3:25)
9. Dog Eat Dog (3:42)
10. Lasagna (2:45)
11. Melanie (3:57)
12. Fat (3:36)
13. UHF (Single Version) (3:51)
14. The Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota
15. Trigger Happy (3:46)
16. Smells Like Nirvana (3:42)
17. You Don't Love Me Anymore (4:01)
18. Bedrock Anthem (3:41)
19. Frank's 2000 Tv (4:04)
20. Jurassic Park (3:53)
21. Since You've Been Gone (1:21)
22. Amish Paradise (3:19)
23. Gump (2:09)
24. Everything You Know is Wrong (3:46)
25. The Night Santa Went Crazy (Extra Gory Version) (3:59)
26. Your Horoscope for Today (3:59)
27. Its All About The Pentiums (3:34)
28. The Saga Begins (5:28)
29. Albuquerque (11:23)
30. Ebay (3:36)
31. Bob (2:29)
32. Hardware Store (3:44)
33. I'll Sue Ya (3:53)
34. Canadian Idiot (2:23)
35. Pancreas (3:51)
36. Don't Download This Song (3:55)
37. White & Nerdy (2:52)
38. Trapped in The Drive-Thru (10:50)

12 March 1996

Bad Hair Day

1. Amish Paradise (3:19)
2. Everything You Know is Wrong (3:46)
3. Cavity Search (4:18)
4. Callin' in Sick (3:39)
5. The Alternative Polka (4:49)
6. Loser
7. Since You've Been Gone (1:21)
8. Gump (2:09)
9. Sex Type Thing
10. All I Wanna Do
11. I'm So Sick of You (3:25)
12. Closer
13. Syndicated Inc. (3:53)
14. Bang And Blame
15. I Remember Larry (3:55)
16. Phony Calls (3:21)
17. You Oughta Know
18. Bullet With Butterfly Wings
19. The Night Santa Went Crazy (3:59)
20. My Friends
21. I'll Stick Around
22. Black Hole Sun
23. Basket Case
24. Ear Booker Polka

1999

Live!

1. Gump (2:09)
2. Polka Power! (4:21)
3. Jerry Springer (2:46)
4. My Baby's in Love with Eddie Vedder (3:26)
5. The Night Santa Went Crazy (3:59)
6. Dare to Be Stupid (3:25)
7. Its All About The Pentiums (3:34)
8. Germs (4:38)
9. One More Minute (4:04)
10. Like a Surgeon (3:32)
11. Medley
12. Pretty Fly for a Rabbi (3:02)
13. Smells Like Nirvana (3:42)
14. Another One Rides The Bus (2:35)
15. Bedrock Anthem (3:41)
16. Amish Paradise (3:19)
17. I Love Rocky Road (2:35)
18. Achy Breaky Song (3:23)
19. Fat (3:36)
20. Jurassic Park (3:53)
21. The Saga Begins (5:28)
22. Grapefruit Diet (3:30)
23. Yoda (3:58)
24. I Lost on Jeopardy (3:26)
25. The Saga Begins (Video)
26. Eat It (3:19)
27. It's All About The Pentiums (Video)