Mr. Sir: This ain't no kindergarteners in the sandbox! (imdb.com)
Stanley: You know what I keep thinkin' of?
Stanley: How fine this Mary Lou must've looked like in a bikini. (imdb.com)
Mr. Pendanski: Here, Theodore.
Armpit: Man, the name is Armpit. (imdb.com)
(X-ray takes Stanley's shovel)
Magnet: You picked up X-Ray's shovel. It's shorter than the rest of 'em.
Squid: Smaller shovel, smaller hole. (imdb.com)
Mr. Sir: I ain't on stupid pills. (imdb.com)
Mr. Sir: You girl scouts want to hear a story. Once apon a time there was a magical place that never rained... The end.
The Warden Walker: I am surrounded by cow turds.
Mr. Sir: There ain`t nothing down there. We woulda found it by now.
Mr. Pendanski: I wouldn`t tell the queen bee that.
Mr. Sir: I ain`t on stupid pills!
Mr. Pendanski: Good morning, Theodore!
Armpit: Man, it`s Armpit! I don`t know no fool named Theodore.
Mr. Pendanski: Well, I don`t know no fool named Armpit.
(Hands him water)
Mr. Pendanski: Here`s your water, who-ever-you-are.
Magnet: (about the dog he stole) I would have made it out, too... if my pocket didn`t start barkin`.
Mr. Pendanski: D-I-G. What does that spell?
Zero: (takes shovel and whacks Mr. Pendanski across the face with it) DIG.
The Warden Walker: Are you trying to be funny, or do you think I`m stupid?
Armpit: I wasn`t trying to be funny.
Mr. Sir: Keep running, there ain`t gonna be no Yelnats the fifth!
Zig-Zag: Say, I didn`t know Marion was a man`s name.
Mr. Sir: It ain`t.
Mr. Sir: (his face has a huge scar) I think I look kinda purty, don`t you?
The Warden Walker: Excuse me?
Young Warden: I`m tired of this, Grandpa...
Trout Walker: (shouts) Well, that`s too damn bad! You keep digging!
Young Warden: Well, excuse me.
The Warden Walker: Stanley, won`t you just open it? Just let me see what`s inside it, please!
Stanley: Excuse me?
Mr. Pendanski: Here, Theodore.
Armpit: Man, the name is Armpit.
Mr. Pendanski: They all have their little nicknames, however I prefer to use the names their parents gave them,the names society will recognize them by.
Mr. Pendanski: You are here on account of one person; do you know who that one person is?
Stanley: Yeah, my no-good-dirty-rotten-pig-stealing-great-great-grandfather, that`s who it is.
Mr. Pendanski: No, you.
Stanley: Man how did she know my name?
Zig-Zag: Oh, man, she`s got the whole place wired. Oh yeah, she has these little cameras and microphones all over the place. In the tent, in the rec room, in the showers.
Stanley: They`re not in the showers.
Squid: Oh don`t listen to him. I read his file. It said he suffers from, um, oh. acute paranoia.
Magnet: So I guess that means she watches me everyday, huh.
Armpit: Man, he said cameras and microphones, not microscopes.
Mr. Pendanski: No one cares about Hector Zeroni.
Stanley: I do.
Sam: I can fix that.
Zero: I`m not stupid, I know everyone thinks I am, I just don`t like answering stupid questions.
Zig-Zag: (singing) You got to go and dig those holes. With broken hands and withered souls. Emancipated from all you know. You got to go and dig those holes.
Stanley: You know what I keep thinkin` of?
Stanley: How fine this Mary Lou must`ve looked like in a bikini.
Zero: What do you thinks up there?
Stanley: I don`t know, a great big Frosty-Freeze?
Zero: Good, `cause I could use a hot fudge sundae.
(X-ray takes Stanley`s shovel)
Magnet: You picked up X-Ray`s shovel. It`s shorter than the rest of `em.
Squid: Smaller shovel, smaller hole.
Mr. Sir: I ain`t on stupid pills.
The Warden Walker: Is that all you jackasses can dig?
Magnet: Maybe he found Zero. Maybe they`re still alive.
X-Ray: Yeah, and maybe the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy are still alive.
Squid: Maybe my mom`ll stop drinkin` and my dad`ll come back.
Twitch: Man when Caveman stole that truck... oh...
Zig-Zag: That was awesome.
Armpit: Yeah, Caveman did have style.
Zero: Did they have red X`s on them?
Squid: You got Zero to talk.
Armpit: Hey yo, what else can you do Zero?
(Zero looks at his food)
Stanley: Yeah. Yeah they did.
Stanley: (in the Court Room) Well, I`ve never been to camp before...
Judge: I could send you to jail and not lose one bit of sleep over it.
Judge: There is a vacancy at Camp Green Lake.
Judge: The choice is yours: Camp Green Lake or Jail.
Stanley: Uh... well, um... I`ve never been to camp before.
Judge: Eighteen months - Camp Green Lake, son.
Stanley: I stole a pair of shoes.
Squid: From a store or were they on someone`s feet?
Zig-Zag: No, he killed the guy first, just left out that little detail, huh?
The Warden Walker: How about you dig, and Caveman can fill the canteens? So what do you want to do?
Mr. Pendanski: I`ll fill the canteens.
Zig-Zag: Did you tell him about the lizards?
Magnet: Hey. Maybe it`ll rain for 40 days and 40 nights, like it did in the Bible.
Armpit: Yeah, maybe we`ll have to build an arc.
Squid: We`ll get two of every animal...
X-Ray: Yeah, two scorpions, two rattlesnakes, two yellow spotted lizards all that.
Twitch: I never mean to steal anything, but when I see a nice car, I just start twitching. You think I`m jumpy now, you should`ve seen me behind the wheel of that Mustang convertible. Whoo! Vroom!
Twitch: Jaguar, that`s a nice car.
Magnet: Don`t even think about it, Twitch.
Armpit: Look at the little fishes... I mean cave pictures.
Zig-Zag: He`s not going to take it. Come here - eat the cookie.
Stanley: Look, it says KB.
Zig-Zag: Yeah... yeah that`s Keith Barrenger.
Zig-Zag: He was in my math class.
Mr. Pendanski: I`ll have the chicken tenders, Warden.
(falls down again)
Mr. Pendanski: It smells like puke from a mule been `ruminating on asparagus for two weeks.
Texas Ranger #2: Marion Sevillo!
Mr. Sir: (freezes) Oh, crap.
Stanley`s Mother: I feel so sorry for the old lady who lived in the shoe, `cause it must`ve smelled real bad.
Mr. Sir: This ain`t a girl scout camp!
Mr. Sir: This ain`t no kindergarteners in the sandbox!