Trailer Son: (after Sully throws Randall into a door and destroys it) Mama! 'Nother gator got in the house!
Trailer Mom: Another gator? Gimme that shovel!
(she begins to whack Randall with the shovel)
Mike: Follow the sultry sound of my voice
Sulley: Hey... may the best monster win.
Randall: I plan to.
Sulley: We need to get to Boo.
Mike: (Throws a snowcone at him) Boo? What about us?
(Throws another snowcone)
Mike: Ever since that kid came in, you've ignored everything I've said, and now look where we are!
(Throws another snowcone)
Mike: Oh, we were about to break the record, Sulley. We would've had it made!
Sulley: None of that matters now.
Mike: None of it matters? Wa-wait a second. None of it matters? Oh, okay, that's - no. Good. Great. So now the truth comes out, doesn't it?
Yeti: Oh, would you look at that? We're out of snowcones. Let me... just go outside and make some more.
Mike: Sulley, what about everything we ever worked for? Does that matter? Huh? What about Celia? I am never... never gonna see her again. Doesn't that matter? What about me? I'm your pal, I'm-I'm your best friend. Don't I matter?
Sulley: I'm sorry, Mike. I'm sorry we're stuck out here. I didn't mean all this to happen. But Boo's in trouble. I think there might be a way to save her if we can just get down to that...
Mike: We? Whoa, whoa. We? No. There's no we this time, pal. If-if-if you want to go out there and freeze to death, you be my guest, because you're on your own.
Yeti: (Referring to despondent Sully) Aw, poor guy. I understand. It's not easy being banished. Take my buddy Bigfoot. When he was banished he fashioned an enormous diaper out of poison ivy. Wore it on his head like a tiara. Called himself "King Itchy".
Randall: So, how about this kid getting loose? Crazy, huh?
Sulley: Uh, yeah, crazy.
Randall: Word on the street is the kid has been traced to the factory. Know anything about that?
Sulley: Uh, no, uh...
Mike: No, no way. But if it was an inside job, I'd put my money on Waxford.
Mike: Yeah, works over in sector 6, he's got those shifty eyes.
Randall: Hey, Waxford!
Sulley: What have I done? This could ruin the company.
Mike: Who cares about the company? What about us? That thing is a killing machine!
(points at Boo, who is babbling harmlessly)
Mike: I bet it's waiting for us to fall asleep, and then - bam! Oh, we're easy prey, my friend. Easy prey! We're sitting targets!
Yeti: Abominable. Can you believe that? Do I look abominable to you? Why can't they call me the Adorable Snowman, or the Agreeable Snowman, for crying out loud? I'm a nice guy.
Mike: I think I have a plan here: using mainly spoons, we dig a tunnel under the city and release it into the wild.
Mike: That's it, I'm out of ideas. We're closed. Hot air balloon? Too expensive. Giant slingshot? Too conspicuous. Enormous wooden horse? Too Greek.
Henry J. Waternoose: No, no, no, no, no. What was that? You're trying to scare the kid, not lull it to sleep.
Bile: I was going for a snake-slash-ninja approach, with a little hissing.
Henry J. Waternoose: How many times must I tell you? It's all about presence. About how you enter the room.
(Mike and Sully are caught behind Boo's door)
CDA Agent: This is the CDA. Come out slowly with the child in plain sight.
Mike: (Steping out from behind the door with Boo's costume) Okay, okay! You got us. Here we are, here's the kid. I'm cooperating. But before you take us away, I have one thing to say.
(Takes Boo's sock out of his mouth and throws it at the CDA agents)
CDA Agent: (as the others jump over the guy who gets the sock) 23-19!
(Boo, scared of the closet, shows Sully a picture)
Sulley: Hey, that looks like Randall. Randall's your monster. You think he's gonna come out of the closet and scare you?
(Opens closet and walks inside)
Sulley: Look, it's empty. No monster in here. Okay, NOW there is. I'm not gonna scare you. I'm off duty.
(Ward runs out of a door, scared to tears)
Ward's Assistant: What happened?
Ward: The kid almost touched me. She got this close to me.
Ward's Assistant: She wasn't scared of you? She was only six.
Ward: (shakes his assistant) I could have been dead. I could have DIED.
Ward's Assistant: (slaps Ward) Keep it together, man.
Mike: You're the boss! You're the boss! You're the big, hairy boss!
Randall: Say hello to the Scream Extractor.
Mike: Hello. Hey, where are you going? C'mon, we'll talk! We'll have a latte!
Mike: I'm telling you, Big Daddy. You're gonna be seeing this face on TV more often.
Sulley: Yeah, like on "Monstropolis' Most Wanted"?
Mike: Ha, ha, ha. You've been jealous of my good looks since the fourth grade, pal.
Celia: (answering phone calls) Monsters Inc., please hold. Monsters Inc., I'll connect you. Mrs. Scaremonger is on vacation. Would you like her voice mail?
Henry J. Waternoose: Our city is counting on you to collect those screams. Without scream, we have no power. Yes, it's dangerous work, and that's why I need you to be at your best. I need scarers who are confident, tenacious, tough, intimidating. I need scarers like... like... James P. Sullivan.
Mike: Come on, the coast is clear. Ok, all we have to do is get rid of that thing, so wait here while I get its cardkey.
Sulley: But she can't stay here this is the men's room.
Mike: That is the weirdest thing you have ever said. Its fine, it's ok! Look, it loves it here, its dancing with joy!
(Boo needs to 'go' badly and is struggling to hold it in)
Mike: I'll be right back with its door key.
Sulley: (laughs) That's a cute little dance you got. Almost looks like you gotta - Oh.
Mike: Look at the big jerk. He ruined my life, and for what? A STUPID KID! Because of you, I am stuck in this frozen wasteland!
Yeti: Wasteland? I think you mean "Wonderland"! I mean, how about all this fabulous snow, huh? Oh, and wait until you see the local village, cutest thing in the world. I haven't mentioned all the free yak's milk.
Sulley: Wh... What did you say?
Yeti: Yak's milk. Milking a yak isn't exactly a picnic; but once you pick the hairs out, it's very nutritious.
(Mike and Sulley watch a commercial featuring them, but Mike is covered over by the Monsters Inc. logo)
Mike: I can't believe it...
Sulley: Oh, Mike...
Mike: I was on TV. Ha. Did you see me? I'm a natural.
Sulley: The power's out. Make her laugh again.
Mike: All right, I got a move here, it'll bring down the house. Up!
(Does a backflip, lands on his crotch)
Sulley: Oh, sorry, she didn't see that.
Mike: What? What'd you do, forget to check if her stupid hood was up, you big dope?
Sulley: Uncle Mike, try not to yell in front of her. You know we still need her to laugh.
Mike: Right. He-he! Hey, Boo! Just kidding. Look!
(Slams the door on his face, making baby noises)
Mike: Funny, right? Huh? With the... These are the jokes, kid.
Randall: Okay, I think I know how to make this all go away. What happens when the whistle blows in five minutes?
Mike: I get a time out?
Randall: Everyone goes to lunch! Which means the scare floor will be...
Randall: EMPTY! I'll be empty, you idiot! See that clock?When the big hand is pointing up...
(forces Mike's arm up)
Randall: and the little hand is pointing up...
(forces the other arm up)
Randall: the door will be in my station. But when the big hand is pointing down...
(forces Mike's arm down)
Randall: the door will be gone. You have until then to put the kid back. Get the picture?
Henry J. Waternoose: James, this company has been in my family for three generations. I would do anything to keep it from going under.
Sulley: So would I, sir.
Henry J. Waternoose: Say, I could use your help with something.
Sulley: Anything, sir.
Henry J. Waternoose: You see, we've recently hired some new recruits, and frankly, they're... um...
Henry J. Waternoose: Oh, they stink!
Henry J. Waternoose: I thought you could drop by the simulator tomorrow and give them a little scare demonstration, show them what it takes to be our top scarer.
Sulley: I'll start with the old Waternoose Jump-and-Growl.
(Jumps and growls)
Henry J. Waternoose: (Startled) Oh! Ha ha! That's my boy.
(Mike and Sully have transported to Hawaii)
Mike: Why couldn't we have been banished here?
(Sully goes looking for Boo; Mike tries to talk him out of it)
Mike: Soemone else will find the kid. I'll be their problem, not ours. She's out of our hair!
(they bump into Randall)
Randall: What are you two doing?
Monster: They're rehearsing a play.
Mike: (singing) She's out of our hair...!
Mike: Hello, is this thing on? Hey, good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Nice to be here in... your room. Hi, where are you from?
(kid doesn't answer)
Mike: You're in kindergarden, right? I used to love kindergarden. Best three years of my life.
(still no answer)
Mike: Of my life. But I love sports. Dodgeball was the best. I was the fastest one out there. Course, I was the ball. You see, I... was the ball. All right, kid.
(Mike swallows his microphone and after a few seconds burps it out louldy; kid laughs)
Mike: Thank you! You've been a wonderful audience. I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your waitress.
Mike: You know, I am so romantic, sometimes I think I should just marry myself.
Sulley: Give me a break, Mike.
Mike: What a night of romance I got ahead of me. Tonight it's about me and Celia. Ooh, the Love Boat is about to set sail. Toot-toot! Cause I gotta tell you, buddy, that face of hers , it just makes my heart go...
(Sees Roz in front of him)
Mike: (Spotting Sulley while he's working out) 118. Do you have 119? Do I see 120? Oh, I don't believe it!
Sulley: I'm not even breaking a sweat.
Mike: Not you! Look! The new commercial's on.
Sulley: (singing to Boo to get her to stop crying) Oh, he's a happy bear, and he's not crying, and neither should you, or we'll be in trouble, 'cause they're gonna find us...
Sulley: Hey, Mike, this might sound crazy but I don't think that kid's dangerous.
Mike: Really? Well, in that case, let's keep it. I always wanted a pet that could kill me.
(Boo falls into the trash can)
CDA Agent: Hey you!
CDA Agent: Halt! He's the one! The one's from the commercial! Affirmative. That's him. Can we get an autograph?
Sulley: (Relieved) Oh! Oh sure! No problem!
Henry J. Waternoose: I hope you're happy, Sullivan. You destroyed this company. Monsters Incorporated is dead! Where will everyone get their scream now? The energy crisis will only get worse, because of you!
Babysitter: Well, hello there. What's your name?
Boo: Mike Wazowski.
Randall: (Randall materializes in mike's locker) WAZOWSKI!
(mike falls from the chair)
Randall: Well what do you know? It scares little kids and little monsters.
Mike: I wasn't scared, I have allergies
Randall: If I don't see a door in my station in 5 seconds, I will personally put you through the shredder.
Sulley: Mike, that's not her door.
Mike: What are you talking about? Of course it's her door. It's her door.
Sulley: No. Her door was white and it had flowers on it.
Mike: No. It must've dark last night because this is its door.
(Mike opens the door. A bright light and polka music emanate from the room)
Mike: (to Boo) You hear that? Sounds like fun in there. Well, see ya kid. Send me a postcard. That's Mike Wazowski, care of 22 Mike Wazowsi-You-Got-Your-Life-Back-Lane.
Boo: Mowki Kowski.
Mike: Very good. Now bon voyage. See ya.
(Mike waves a stick in front of Boo as if she were a dog)
Mike: Look at the stick. See the stick?
(Mike throws the stick through the door)
Mike: Got get the stick. Go fetch.
(running from Randall in the door vault, Sulley and Mike's shadows appear behind a Japanese paper screen)
Mike: Come on, it slides, it slides!
Mike: Just think about a few names for a second: Bigfoot. Loch Ness. The Abominable Snowman. They all have one thing in common, pal: Banishment! We could be next!
Randall: (to Sulley, hanging on from a door) Look at everybody's favorite scarer now, you stupid, pathetic waste!
(starts stomping on Sulley's fingers)
Randall: You've been number one for too long, Sullivan. Now your time is up. And don't worry, I'll take good care of the kid.
(Just then Boo jumps on Randall and attacks him; Sulley climbs back on and restrains Randall)
Boo: Roar! Roar!
Sulley: She's not scared of you any more.
Sulley: Looks like you're out of a job.
Mike: (chanting) I don't know, but it's been said, I love scaring kids in bed!
Sulley: Nice job, Mikey. You filled your quota on the first kid of the day.
Mike: You know, only someone with great comedic timing could produce this much energy in one shot.
Sulley: Uh-huh, and the fact that laughter has ten times the energy of scream had nothing to do with it.
Mike: Roz, my tender, oozing blossom, you're looking fabulous today. Is that a new haircut? Tell me it's a new haircut. It's got to be a new haircut. New makeup? You had a lift? You had a tuck? You had something? Something has been inserted in in you that makes you look... Listen, I need a favor. Randall was working late last night out on the scare floor. I really need the key to the door he was using.
Roz: Well, isn't that nice? But guess what? You didn't turn in your paperwork last night.
Mike: He didn't... I... no paperwork?
Roz: This office is now closed.
(Roz closes the window on Mike's fingers)
(Mike complains to Sulley about Randall)
Mike: One of these days I am really... going to let you teach that guy a lesson.
(Sulley's alarm clock clicks, and Mike impersonates the radio announcer)
Mike: Hey, good morning, Monstropolis. It's now five after the hour of 6:00 A.M. in the big monster city. Temperature's a balmy 65 degrees - which is good news for you reptiles - and it looks like it's gonna be a perfect day to maybe, hey, just lie in bed, sleep in, or simply... WORK OUT THAT FLAB THAT'S HANGING OVER THE BED. Get up, Sulley.
(Mike honks a horn right in Sulley's face)
Henry J. Waternoose: What a day.
Sulley: It's just a rough patch, sir. Everyone knows you'll get us through it.
Henry J. Waternoose: Tell that to the board of directors.
Roz: Hello, Wazowski. Fun-filled evening planned for tonight?
Mike: Well, as a matter of fact...
Roz: Then I'm sure you filed your paperwork correctly, for once.
(Mike smiles innocently)
Roz: Your stunned silence is very reassuring.
Sulley: Hey, did you lose weight, or a limb?
Randall: Sh sh sh! You hear that? It's the winds of change.
Mike: Can I borrow your odorant?
Sulley: Yeah, I got, uh, Smelly Garbage or Old Dumpster.
Mike: You got, uh, Low Tide?
Mike: How about Wet Dog?
Sulley: Yep. Stink it up.
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