Carter: You don't know nothing about no War.
Lee: Everybody knows War.
Lee: War! Huh! Yeah! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing, sing it again, you all!
Carter: It ain't 'you all', it's "y'all"!
Carter: Man you sound like a Karate movie, y'all!
Captain Diel: Every now and then we have to let the general public know that we can still blow shit up.
Carter: You're God damn right. (imdb.com)
Sang: The drop will be made tonight. The amount will be fifty million dollars.
Carter: Fifty million dollars? Man, who do you think you kidnapped? Chelsea Clinton?
Sang: We want twenty million in fifties.
Carter: Okay, twenty million in fifties.
Sang: Twenty million in twenties.
Carter: Okay, twenty million in twenties.
Sang: And ten million in tens.
Carter: Ten million in tens. Okay. Ey d'you want any fives with that? (imdb.com)
Clive Cod: Let me tell you something, I don't know anything about that, so you can kiss my fat ass.
Carter: Clive, it would take me all day to kiss your fat ass. (imdb.com)
Carter: We must be... must be a misunderstanding. I was sent down here for the big case. For the kidnapping. The little girl? (imdb.com)
Carter: No disrespect, sir, but he's only gonna get in my way. If I'm gonna handle the situation for you, I'm gonna have to work alone.
Agent Russ: Carter, he *is* the situation. (imdb.com)
Carter: That's why I don't have no partner, that's one thing I learned from my daddy.
Lee: Your father was a policeman?
Carter: Fifteen years LAPD.
Lee: My daddy also a policeman.
Carter: Your daddy was a cop?
Lee: Not a cop, an officer, a legend all over Hong Kong.
Carter: My daddy a legend too all over America. My daddy once arrested fifteen people in one night by himself.
Lee: My daddy arrested 25 by himself.
Carter: ...My daddy once saved five crackheads from a burnin' building, by himself.
Lee: My daddy once caught a bullet with his bare hand.
Carter: My daddy'll kick your daddy's ass all the way from here to China, Japan, wherever the hell you from and all up that Great Wall too.
Lee: Hey, don't talk about my father.
Carter: Don't talk about my daddy. (imdb.com)
Carter: You know that other stuff but you don't know his name?
Luke: Man, people tell me shit... Achoo!
Carter: What's wrong with you? (imdb.com)
Lee: We can hang in my crib. I will show you my 'hood. (imdb.com)
Carter: I've been lookin' for your sweet and sour chicken ass. (imdb.com)
Lee: Ah! Beach Boys!
Carter: Oh, hell no! You didn't just touch my goddamn radio!
Lee: The Beach Boys are great American music.
Carter: The Beach Boys gonna get you a great ass whuppin'. Don't you ever touch a black man's radio, boy! You can do that in China but you can get your ass killed out here, man! (imdb.com)
Carter: This is the LAPD. We're the most hated cops in all the free world. My own mama's ashamed of me. She tells everybody I'm a drug dealer. (imdb.com)
Lee: You must take me to see Consul Han right away.
Carter: Man, just sit there and shut up! This ain't no democracy.
Lee: Yes, it is.
Carter: No, it ain't. This is the United States of James Carter. I'm the president, I'm the emperor, I'm the king. I'm Michael Jackson, you Tito. Your ass belongs to me. (imdb.com)
Carter: This ain't no Democracy.
Lee: Yes it is.
Carter: No it ain't. This is the United States of James Carter. I'm the President, I'm the Emperor, I'm the King. I'm Michael Jackson, you're Tito. I own yo ass. (imdb.com)
Waitress: For one?
Carter: No, for two, I'm here for a meeting with Mr. Juntao.
Waitress: I'm sorry I do not know Mr. Juntao.
Carter: Look maybe you don't understand, I'm Mr. Juntao's lawyer, legal advisor, he got into some shit again and he told me to come down here and I'm a very busy man, ain't got time to be down here this late but I'm down here, my wife want me to come home, my baby is shittin' all over the house, he needs diapers, would you please go get Mr. Juntao? (imdb.com)
Lee: I like to let people talk who like to talk. It lets me find out how full of shit they are.
Carter: What the hell did you just say? (imdb.com)
Carter: Get yo big Happy Meal Ass over in the corner! (imdb.com)
Agent Whitney: Well as long as we're gonna humiliate someone, might as well be LAPD. (imdb.com)
Lee: Whassup, my nigga?
Bartender: What did you just say?
Lee: Whassup, my nigga (imdb.com)
Lee: Leave me alone. A man like you could never understand.
Carter: A man like me?
Lee: You are devoted only to yourself. You're ashamed of being a police officer, you dishonor your father's name!
Carter: You don't know nothing about my father.
Lee: You said your father is a legend.
Carter: My father WAS a legend. My father was killed making a routine traffic stop in broad daylight by some punk who didn't want no ticket. His partner was supposed to get out of the car and back him up but never did. My father was just as devoted as you, and now he's dead, and for what? A traffic ticket and some punk? You tell me, where's the honor in that?
Lee: You believe your father wasted his life, that he died for nothing? (imdb.com)
Carter: (after watching Juntao fall to his death into a fountain) Whoo! You know he dead. (imdb.com)
Carter: We have just received a threat on the building. We ask if you please exit the building as soon as possible and please do not panic.
Carter: (shouts) Did you hear what I just said? Get your shit and go out the door! (imdb.com)
Carter: It is not my job to be jumping on and off of buses, I don't do that, I am not Carl Lewis! (imdb.com)
Carter: How long this flight?
Lee: Fifteen hours.
Carter: Fifteen hours? What are we gonna do for fifteen hours?
Lee: (Puts on head phones and begins to sing) Huh! War! Uh! Good God "yaw."
Carter: Oh, hell no! Stewardess! Get me another seat! (imdb.com)
(meeting Lee at the airport)
Carter: Please tell me you speak English. I'm Detective Carter. Do you speaka any English? DO-YOU-UNDERSTAND-THE-WORDS-THAT-ARE-COMING-OUT-OF-MY-MOUTH?
(Lee just smiles)
Carter: I cannot believe this SHIT! First I get a bullshit assignment, now Mr. Rice-a-Roni don't even speak American. C'mon, man, my ride over here. Put your bag in the back.
(Lee hands the bag to Carter)
Carter: No, no, no, you put your own shit in the back! I'm not a skycap! (imdb.com)
Carter: I'm gonna kick your ass and then I'll take your ass to jail. (imdb.com)
(Carter is riding in a tow truck pulling up to the Consulate; he meets the guard whose ass Lee kicked earlier)
Carter: Hey, man, y'all see a little Asian dude about this height with a steering wheel on his arm?
FBI Gate Guard #1: Go screw yourself.
Carter: What did you say?
FBI Gate Guard #1: I said go screw yourself.
Carter: You take your little sensitive ass up there and let me in. Get out of the way! Don't make me get up out of this truck! Man when I get up in there I'm slappin' somebody, I don't play that.
(Carter has ordered Chinese takeout)
Carter: Damn, Chin, this is some greasy shit. You ain't got no better food, like some chicken wings, some baby back ribs, some fries or something?
Chin: Chinese food, no soul food here!
Carter: I didn't say nothin' 'bout no soul food, I said you got some better food. I don't want that greasy shit. How you gonna sell a big box of grease?
(Chin conplains in Chinese)
Carter: (turns cross) I'm chilly a what?
Lee: (grabs Carter) Come on!
Chin: I'm no punk bitch.
Carter: I ain't no punk bitch, neither!
Chin: I'M no punk bitch!
Carter: I'm about to knock that hat off your head, Chin. (imdb.com)
Carter: First Class, I like this, this is tight.
Steward: Can I take your jacket, sir?
Carter: My jacket? No, no, you can take this bag though. (imdb.com)
Agent Russ: Carter, we're impressed with the great job you did yesterday, so when you get back there's gonna be an FBI badge waiting for you.
Carter: You serious? I don't know what to say. It's like a dream come true. I got an idea though, I got an idea. Why don't y'all take that badge and shove it up your ass. All up in your ass. I'm LAPD.
(Walks towards the plane)
Agent Whitney: Bitch. (imdb.com)
(Carter has just been booted in the head)
Carter: ...which one of y'all kicked me? (imdb.com)
Carter: I don't want no partner, I don't need no partner and I ain't never gonna have no partner. Did Kojak have a partner?
Tania Johnson: Yeah the fat guy.
Carter: Well he wasn't ever with him. Did Columbo have a partner?
Tania Johnson: Captain Diel ordered me to go with you on that bust because you needed bomb squad back up but once again you screwed me and you screwed yourself. (imdb.com)
Captain Diel: Two officers were shot, one man lost a pinkie.
Carter: But didn't nobody die!
Captain Diel: You destroyed half a city block!
Carter: That block was already messed up.
Captain Diel: And you lost a lot of evidence!
Carter: We still got a little bit left. (imdb.com)
Carter: Don't act like you don't know nothing, I'll take all your ass to the jail, right now if I don't get the answers. Ok. You think I am a fool, you are playin' me like a fool, Ok. Ok... Lee go outside it's gonna be a little dangerous in here. (imdb.com)
Carter: I'm lookin' out for you when I reach the top. I'm gonna make you mayor.
Captain Diel: I'd rather you didn't. (imdb.com)
(Carter has snatched a guard's gun)
Carter: Hahahahaha! You didn't know I could do that, did you? Put your hands up! Put your hands up! I ain't gonna kill you this time. I'm just gonna kick your ass!
(Carter kicks the guard and knocks him out with the gun)
Carter: You tell your friends about me. (Carter: C'mon! You got everybody excited about something being blowed up, and look at your little punk British ass.)
Lee: Why would they not want my help?
Carter: Because they don't give a damn about you! They don't like you! I don't like you!
Lee: I don't care! I'm here for the girl!
Carter: The girl don't like you! Nobody likes you! (imdb.com)
Captain Diel: (on the phone with FBI) Even if I had an extra man, who would want such a bullshit assignment? It's a disgrace to me! It's a disgrace to my department! It's a disgrace to...
(Carter enters the office)
Captain Diel: Dan, I'm sending someone right over. (imdb.com)
Chin: I'm no punk bitch!
Carter: I'm no punk bitch neither!
Chin: *I'm* no punk bitch! (imdb.com)
(Carter is trying to convince Officer Bobby to let him into the prison after-hours)
Carter: Bobby, didn't I look the other way that time you bought that bag of weed?
Officer Bobby: I was splittin' it with you!
Carter: Well, didn't I give you the bigger half? (imdb.com)
Carter: (after killing Sang) Wipe yourself off, man. You dead. (imdb.com)
(Sang throws a towel over a helpless Carter)
Sang: Now wipe yourself off. You're bleeding. (imdb.com)
Carter: My baby's been shitting all over the house. (imdb.com)
Agent Russ: Where the hell's Carter? (imdb.com)
Lee: (handcuffs Lee to the steering wheel) Hey, what are you doing?
Carter: You ain't the only one with quick hands now, right? Wah! (imdb.com)
Carter: (after suitcase opens and money falls from ceiling) Thank you God! (imdb.com)
Lee: Carter! I can't hold any more! I'm slipping!
Carter: Hang on a minute, I'll go get help!
Lee: (shouts) Carter!
Carter: Ah, I was just playin' wit ya... (imdb.com)
Soo Yung's Driver: Is there a problem officer?
Sang: No problem. Just rush hour.
(Sang in his police disguise pulls out his pistol and kills both of Soo Yung's bodyguards) (imdb.com)
Carter: (sees a man smoking pot) Is this weed?
(starts smelling the joint)
Carter: You got a perscription for this?
Cigaweed Man: Uhh... it's uhh... uhhh...
Carter: Where's it at? I should take your ass to jail, you know that?
Cigaweed Man: For what?
Carter: For what? Look at this!
Cigaweed Man: That's nothing but a cigarette...
Carter: That's cigaweed!
Cigaweed Man: Well it looked like a cigarette...
Carter: You better have glaucoma.
Cigaweed Man: I do. (imdb.com)
Lee: (yanks a cigarette from the Cigaweed Guy) That's bad for you! (imdb.com)
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