Uncle Wayne: Whoa! Never touch a man while he's hanging a wire. (imdb.com)
Connor Mead: Love is magic comfort food for the weak and uneducated! (imdb.com)
Uncle Wayne: Took her into the coat-check only to find she's got ten pin under her dress.
Connor Mead: No! Wait... what? (imdb.com)
ncle Wayne: So here's a couple of tips. When you first meet a girl you give her two compliments above the neck. Yeah, tell her she's got nice lips, nice eyes, nice hair... she's intelligent, her moral ethics, whatever crap comes to your mind. Then just when she begins to thinks that you're another - you know - vanilla nice guy that she can tool around with all night without getting naked...
(hits his hand on bar)
Uncle Wayne: you *insult* her! Flip the power dynamic and your let her know that you're here to play. (imdb.com)
Paul: These are my groomsmen. Guys, this is my brother Connor.
Groomsman #1: We've heard the stories, man.
Connor Mead: Oh, ok.
Groomsman #2: An *honor* to be serving with you.
Connor Mead: And with you.
Groomsman #3: It's mice to neat you. Damn it! I blew it. (imdb.com)
Connor Mead: I am begging you; don't run away. You and Paul have something so rare, so powerful! Don't chicken out now.
Sandra: Don't chicken out? He cheated.
Connor Mead: Get over it. It was years ago! With some slutty friend of yours! A friend incidentally, that you're not even mad at. And you know why? Because you don't actually care. You love Paul so much you forgave him the second you heard, and that's what scares you.
Sandra: You have no idea how I feel. No idea!
Connor Mead: Yes, I do. I've been in your shoes. You know what? It scared the hell out of me too. What if she hurt me? What if she left me? What if she died? It would have been the end of me. So I cut it short, before she ever could. And you know what? It was the biggest mistake I ever made. And you're making the same mistake right now, and I'll be goddamned if I'm going to sit by and watch. You've got to risk love Sandra! I didn't and look at me! I'm a lonely ghost of a man. It doesn't mean that you're never going to get hurt, but the pain you feel will never compare to the regret that comes from walking away from love. And from someone who's felt a lot of both trust me, regret beats pain everyday of the week and twice on Sunday. Don't run away. Don't do it.
Sandra: (Sandra says nothing)
Connor Mead: Now. Do you still want to get married?
Sandra: (Sandra looks up and smiles) I do. (imdb.com)
Vonda Volkom: Spooning is nice.
Connor Mead: Yeah. But not as nice as forking. (imdb.com)
Connor Mead: (Running down the stairs) Get ready for nuptials! (imdb.com)
Sergeant Volkom: It's not complicated. Our guests are represented by the Allies. Paul, you and your guests are Nazis.
Paul: I'll try not to read into that, sir.
Sergeant Volkom: Blue frogmen are non-requisite support personnel. Waiters, photographers, caterers, band members and so forth.
Jenny Perotti: Oh, Donna, look. You got a grenade launcher.
Donna the Bridesmaid: Oh, my God, I love grenade launchers.
(Jenny looks at Donna and smiles)
Sandra: Daddy, you're not showing off your seating chart, are you? (imdb.com)
Paul: Ok, he's not that bad.
Connor Mead: Thank you, Paulie.
Deena the Bridesmaid: Paul, he hit on your mother in law.
Vonda Volkom: I've banged worse.
Connor Mead: (All cheer) Thank you, Vonda! (imdb.com)
Bar Twin, Bar Twin: (Together to Connor) You slept with my sister. (imdb.com)
Melanie: There's apple, bubble gum and Tandoori. I know it sounds gross, but have two of them and you won't feel your face. (imdb.com)
Connor Mead: Someone once told me that the power in all relationships lies with whoever cares less, and he was right. But power isn't happiness, and I think that maybe happiness comes from caring more about people rather than less... (imdb.com)
Uncle Wayne: It's all for your own good. And what's not for your own good is for my entertainment.
Share this quote (imdb.com)
Sergeant Volkom: (making his FOTB wedding reception toast in full military dress uniform) It was cold and dark, and we'd been taking fire for hours. Took an incoming mortar hit. I opened up his jacket, and his insides fell out; and I had his bloody guts in my hand. They were warm and mushy and squishy. And I push them back right into his body cavity, and willed him to live with my tears. And THAT is what true love is... hoo-ah! (imdb.com)