The Philadelphia Story Quotes

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Tracy Lord: I`m going crazy. I`m standing here solidly on my own two hands and going crazy.

Macaulay Connor: Oh Tracy darling...
Tracy Lord: Mike...
Macaulay Connor: What can I say to you? Tell me darling.
Tracy Lord: Not anything - don`t say anything. And especially not "darling."

Macaulay Connor: It can`t be anything like love, can it?
Tracy Lord: No, no, it can`t be.
Macaulay Connor: Would it be inconvenient?
Tracy Lord: Terribly.

Tracy Lord: Hello you.
Macaulay Connor: Hello.
Tracy Lord: You look fine.
Macaulay Connor: I feel fine.

Margaret Lord: The course of true love...
Macaulay Connor: ...gathers no moss.

Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: What`s this room? I`ve forgotten my compass.
Macaulay Connor: I`d say, south-by-southwest parlor-by-living-room.

Macaulay Connor: This is the Bridal Suite. Would you send up a couple of caviar sandwiches and a bottle of beer?
Margaret Lord: What? Who is this?
Macaulay Connor: This is the Voice of Doom calling. Your days are numbered, to the seventh son of the seventh son.
Margaret Lord: Hello? Hello?
Tracy Lord: What`s the matter?
Margaret Lord: One of the servants has been at the sherry again.

Tracy Lord: I never knew such a man.
Macaulay Connor: You`re not likely to dear. Not from where you sit.

Macaulay Connor: You`ve got all the arrogance of your class, haven`t you?
Tracy Lord: What have classes to do with it? What do they matter except for the people in them? George comes from the so-called lower class, Dexter, the upper. Well?
Macaulay Connor: Well...
Tracy Lord: Mac the night watchman is a prince among men, Uncle Willie is a... pincher. Upper and lower my eye. I`ll take the lower, thanks.
Macaulay Connor: If you can`t get a drawing room.
Tracy Lord: What does that mean?
Macaulay Connor: My mistake.
Tracy Lord: Decidedly. You`re insulting!
Macaulay Connor: Sorry.
Tracy Lord: Oh, don`t apologize!
Macaulay Connor: Well, who`s apologizing?
Tracy Lord: I never knew such a man.
Macaulay Connor: You wouldn`t be likely to, from where you sit!
Tracy Lord: Talk about arrogance.
Macaulay Connor: Tracy.
Tracy Lord: What do you want?
Macaulay Connor: (pause) You`re wonderful.

George Kittredge: (walks in on Tracy and Dexter together) Well, I suppose I should object to this twosome.
C. K. Dexter Haven: That would be most objectionable.

Tracy Lord: (Tracy and Mike have almost kissed. Both are very drunk) Has your mind taken hold again, dear professor?
Macaulay Connor: Good thing, don`t you agree?
Tracy Lord: No, professor.
Macaulay Connor: (angrily) Alright, lay off that "professor" stuff! Now, do you hear me?
Tracy Lord: Yes, professor...

Macaulay Connor: Doggone it, C.K. Dexter Haven. Either I`m gonna sock you or you`re gonna sock me.
C. K. Dexter Haven: Shall we toss a coin?

(Dexter has just proposed)
Tracy Lord: Oh Dexter you`re not doing it just to soften the blow?
C. K. Dexter Haven: No.
Tracy Lord: Nor to save my face?
C. K. Dexter Haven: Oh, it`s a nice little face.
Tracy Lord: Oh Dexter, I`ll be yar now, I promise to be yar.
C. K. Dexter Haven: Be whatever you like, you`re my redhead.

Uncle Willie: (hung over) Awww... this is one of those days that the pages of history teach us are best spent lying in bed.

C. K. Dexter Haven: (looking for the "hair of the dog") Do you s`pose, sir, speaking of eye-openers...?
Uncle Willie: Oh, that`s the first sane remark I`ve heard today. C`malong, Dexter, I know a formula that`s said to pop the pennies off the eyelids of dead Irishmen.

Macaulay Connor: I`m testing the air. I like it but it doesn`t like me.

Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: Oh it`s all right Tracy. We all go haywire at times and if we don`t, maybe we ought to.

Tracy Lord: Put me in your pocket, Mike.

Macaulay Connor: The prettiest sight in this fine pretty world is the privileged class enjoying its privileges.

Tracy Lord: The time to make up your mind about people is never.

Tracy Lord: You hardly know him.
C. K. Dexter Haven: To hardly know him is to know him well.

C. K. Dexter Haven: Of course, Mr. Connor, she`s a girl who is generous to a fault.
Tracy Lord: To a fault.
C. K. Dexter Haven: Except to other people`s faults.

C. K. Dexter Haven: Sometimes, for your own sake, Red, I think you should`ve stuck to me longer.
Tracy Lord: I thought it was for life, but the nice judge gave me a full pardon.
C. K. Dexter Haven: Aaah, that`s the old redhead. No bitterness, no recrimination, just a good swift left to the jaw.

C. K. Dexter Haven: Orange juice, certainly.
Tracy Lord: Don`t tell me you`ve forsaken your beloved whisky and whiskies.
C. K. Dexter Haven: No-no-no-no. I`ve just changed their colour, that`s all. I`m going for the pale pastel shades now. They`re more becoming of me. How about you, Mr. Connor? You drink, don`t you - alcohol, I mean?
Macaulay Connor: Oh, a little.
C. K. Dexter Haven: (Amused) A little? And you a writer? Tsk, tsk, tsk. I thought all writers drank to excess and beat their wives. You know, at one time I think I secretly wanted to be a writer.
(He and Tracy exchange scornful looks)

C. K. Dexter Haven: I thought all writers drank to excess and beat their wives. You know one time I secretly wanted to be a writer.

Margaret Lord: We both might face the facts that neither of us has proved to be a very great success as a wife.
Tracy Lord: We just picked the wrong first husband.

Seth Lord: You have everything it takes to make a lovely woman except the one essential: an understanding heart. And without that you might just as well be made of bronze.

Tracy Lord: Oh, we`re going to talk about me again, are we? Goody.

Sidney Kidd: I understand we understand each other.

Macaulay Connor: Champagne`s funny stuff. I`m used to whiskey. Whiskey is a slap on the back, and champagne`s heavy mist before my eyes.

Tracy Lord: You haven`t switched from liquor to dope, by any chance, have you Dexter?

Tracy Lord: I never thought that alcohol would - Oh shut up.

Tracy Lord: Dexter, say something.
C. K. Dexter Haven: Well, I...
Tracy Lord: Oh, I`m such an unholy mess of a girl.
C. K. Dexter Haven: Well, now, that`s not conversation.

Macaulay Connor: I would sell my grandmother for a drink - and you know how I love my grandmother.

George Kittredge: You`re like some marvelous, distant, well, queen, I guess. You`re so cool and fine and always so much your own. There`s a kind of beautiful purity about you, Tracy, like, like a statue.
Tracy Lord: George...
George Kittredge: Oh, it`s grand, Tracy. It`s what everybody feels about you. It`s what I first worshipped you for from afar.
Tracy Lord: I don`t want to be worshipped. I want to be loved.

Tracy Lord: You`re too good for me, George. You`re a hundred times too good. And I`d make you most unhappy, most. That is, I`d do my best to.

Tracy Lord: You seem quite contemptuous of me all of the sudden.
C. K. Dexter Haven: No Red, not of you, never of you.

Macaulay Connor: I don`t think you`re being fair to me, Mr. Kidd.
Sidney Kidd: No?
Macaulay Connor: No. You`re treating me like you treat all your other writers.

Tracy Lord: These stories are beautiful. Why, Mike, they`re almost poetry.
Macaulay Connor: Don`t kid yourself, they are.

Dinah Lord: Nothing ever possibly in the least ever happens here. Mother, how do you get smallpox?

Macaulay Connor: (speaking of Tracy) What are her leading characteristics?
C. K. Dexter Haven: She has a horror of men who wear their hats in the house.
Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: Leading characteristics to be filled in later.
Macaulay Connor: I can fill them in right now: the rich, rapacious, American female. There`s no other country where she exists.
Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: And would I change places with Tracy Samantha Lord for all her wealth and beauty? Oh boy just ask me.

Margaret Lord: Oh, dear. Is there no such thing as privacy any more?
Tracy Lord: Only in bed, mother, and not always there.

Macaulay Connor: (drunk, to driver) Well, this is where Cinderella gets off, now you hurry back to the ball before you turn into a pumpkin and six white mice, goodbye.

Tracy Lord: Aren`t you coming Liz?
Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: Well, it seems I`ve got to commit suicide first.

Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: Where`s my wandering parakeet?

Macaulay Connor: (drunk) You going my way miss?
Tracy Lord: (drunk) That`s "Miss Goddess" to you
Macaulay Connor: Okay, Miss Goddess To Me.

Macaulay Connor: Tell four footmen to call me in time for lunch will you?

Tracy Lord: You`re just a mass of prejudices, aren`t you? You`re so much thought and so little feeling, Professor.

C. K. Dexter Haven: I`m sorry, but I thought I better hit you before he did. He`s in better shape than I am.
Macaulay Connor: Well you`ll do!

C. K. Dexter Haven: Hello friends and enemies.
Uncle Willie: Young man, remove yourself!
C. K. Dexter Haven: How are you, sir?
Uncle Willie: I don`t know. Get along! Get along!