Law & Order: Special Victims Unit Quotes

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ADA David Goreman: So you're an expert on sex crimes - is that correct?
Brian Cassidy: Well, we all have something to learn...
ADA David Goreman: I'm sure. Can you tell us the technical, or 'psycho-sexual' term, if you will - for fondling a stranger?
Brian Cassidy: (thinking) ... Fromage?...
(audience giggles)
ADA David Goreman: I believe it's "frottage".
Brian Cassidy: Right, right - "frottage". (imdb.com)

M.E. Melinda Warner: (performing an autopsy with the detectives present) No fluids present. Tests show spermicide common in condoms.
(removes an organ from the body and weighs it)
Elliot Stabler: This is fun. (imdb.com)

Capt. Donald Cragen: What would it take to get a blanket DNA on an entire facility?
ADA Alexandra Cabot: A constitutional amendment. (imdb.com)

Capt. Donald Cragen: My wife was on an Orlando turnaround as a flight attendant, and I was home, scrubbing algae off the tiles around the swimming pool that we never used, the one that got me into hot water with Internal Affairs, because 'what's a cop doing with an in-ground pool", right?, and then the phone rang, the call she always expected, always dreaded. (imdb.com)

(repeated line when suspects give a "great" excuse for what they've done)
ADA Casey Novak: Is that the best you can come up with? (imdb.com)

Capt. Donald Cragen: Romeo just signed up for tonight's event.
Olivia Benson: He's looking for a new Juliet. (imdb.com)

Olivia Benson: There's gotta be dozens of pictures here. The bastards been stalking her for awhile. (imdb.com)

(Looking through a victim's purse for ID)
Olivia Benson: No jewelry. I always carry at least a pair of earrings in my purse.
Elliot Stabler: Yeah, like you carry a purse.
Olivia Benson: That's 'cause you carry it for me.
Elliot Stabler: Heh... (imdb.com)

(after he lost on a game)
John Munch: Damn it. I died.
(Fin grabs the controller)
Fin Tutuola: Let me see me this. (imdb.com)

Capt. Donald Cragen: It's a case of he said, she said, he's dead (imdb.com)