Brenda: The future is just a fucking concept that we use to avoid living today.
(Parker is about to have sex)
Guy at party: How old are you?
Parker: How old do you want me to be?
Claire: Well, isn`t it comforting to know that being miserable is still better than being an idiot?
Claire: If we live our lives the right way then everything we do can become a work of art.
Celeste: (on the phone) Fine, I`ll do the crappy Kids Choice Awards, but I`m not presenting with Hilary fucking Duff.
Celeste: Creepy Colin Farrell just left me another creepy message; can`t we do something about that, y`know legally?
Nate: There`s something weird about twins, about these twins anyway.
(shows picture to Brenda)
Brenda: They`re cute.
Nate: They smell like bananas.
Claire: You know, at first I was worried, but now I`m just pissed.
Maggie Sibley: I know that if you think life`s a vending machine where you put in virtue and take out happiness than you`re going to be disappointed.
Officer Keith Charles: (talking to David about marriage) You`re in my will, I`m in yours. We basically are married, even if the law refuses to recognize it. But then again, I refuse to recognize most of the Bush Administration. I guess it all evens out.
Nate: Why do you treat me like shit all the time, Brenda?
Brenda: Because I`ve had a really fucked-up life and I need sarcasm to hide how ridiculously miserable I am!
George Sibley: I`ve made a lot of enemies through the years. You take the backstabbing world of academia, throw in a controversial field like geology and you`ve got real trouble.
Claire: Geology is controversial?
George Sibley: Oil, Claire. Oil.
Celeste: You ever been with a woman?
Officer Keith Charles: Of course.
Celeste: I don`t get fucked in the ass.
Officer Keith Charles: That makes one of us.
Ruth Fisher: Really and truly?
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