Her father died in 1703, and his widow moved her family to London in 1707. Esther became acquainted with Swift in December of that year while the family was en route for London, at Dunstable, and it was here that their intense 17-year relationship began. She was 22 years younger than Swift, and it was obvious from the beginning that he admired Esther for her rugged qualities. Swift later served as her tutor.
After her mother died in 1714, Esther followed Swift to Ireland, and returned to Celbridge Abbey, but she was desperately miserable there.
Their relationship was fraught. It was broken up after 17 years by Swift's relationship with another woman, Esther Johnson, whom he called "Stella", in 1723. Swift had known Stella since about 1690, when she was a little girl in the household of his employer Sir William Temple; their relationship was intense and it is possible that they had secretly married in 1716. Esther is thought to have asked Swift not to see Stella again, and he apparently refused, thus putting an end to their relationship.
Esther never recovered from his rejection and died on 2 June 1723, probably from tuberculosis contracted from nursing her sister Mary, who had died of the same disease in 1720, as had their mother before her; some accused Swift of inadvertently causing her death.
Swift, whose letters to her were published after her death, is not mentioned in her will, perhaps a final retaliation against a man whose neglect made her "live a life like a languishing death".