Perry writes in his memoir that his stint as Valerie's brother on Sydney got intense because he 'fell madly in love with Valerie Bertinelli, who was clearly in a troubled marriage.' He adds, 'My crush was crushing; not only was she way out of my league, but she was also married to one of the most famous rock stars on the planet, Eddie Van Halen.' Perry details how intense his infatuation with the actress was, leading him to plan out a future together. 'It is important to point out here that my feelings for Valerie were real. I was completely captivated — I mean, I was obsessed with her and harbored elaborate fantasies about her leaving Eddie Van Halen and living out the rest of her days with me,' he writes. Things finally escalated when he was invited over to Bertinelli and Van Halen's home, at which he was 'just hanging out and gazing at Valerie, trying to make her laugh.' 'When you made her laugh, you felt ten feet tall,' he gushes. But 'Eddie had enjoyed the fruits of the vine a little too hard, one more time, and eventually he just passed out, not ten feet away from us,' Perry says, adding that, 'This was my chance! 'If you think I didn’t actually have a chance in hell you’d be wrong, dear reader — Valerie and I had a long, elaborate make-out session. It was happening — maybe she felt the same way I did.' He claims Bertinelli even seemed to reciprocate his affections.'I told her I had thought about doing that for a long time, and she had said it right back to me,' Perry says. But when he confessed about the night with Bertinelli to his costar Craig Bierko, Bierko was cautious rather than optimistic and told him to watch himself. As for Bertinelli, she 'made no mention of what had happened and was behaving — as she should have been — like this was just a normal day. 'I quickly got the hint and also played the role I was supposed to, but inside I was devastated,' Perry says. Bertinelli's professionalism allegedly led to sleepless, tearful nights for the future Friends star, and he saw the failure of Sydney as an escape from the obsession, as he 'didn’t have to see Valerie anymore.' The actor gives a Freudian explanation for his attraction to Bertinelli and other women who couldn't love him back. 'I have spent my life being attracted to unavailable women. It doesn’t take a psychology degree to figure out that this had something to do with my relationship with my mother,' he writes."